Damnation
by Vialana
Summary: Tyson/Kai :: Kai keeps pushing people away, but Tyson isn't swayed so easily by the older blader. But when Kai turns to more desperate darker means to keep others away, will Tyson still try to help him? DISCONTINUED
1. Weakness

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Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the series Beyblade or the characters in this fan fiction. This is a non-profitable entertainment based piece of writing. I also do not own the song "Weakness", it belongs to the band Opeth.

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Yay, my first venture into the world of Kai/Tyson yaoi! Yay me! Not sure if this is going to be a one shot or if I'm going to extend it into a story. One thing's certain, if I do decide to extend it, it won't be for a while and I may change the genre.

The rating's sort of precautionary, things get kinda dark in this fic, plus there's a bit of swearing and some other stuff I'm really not sure about yet. Like I said precautionary.

Anyways, I hope you enjoy what I have for now. Tell me what you think, this is my first TyKa, so please be nice and don't flame my pairing please.

Enjoy.

~song lyrics~

****

Weakness

Tyson sighed miserably.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?"

It was the same every day. The yelling, the tediousness. Just once couldn't he just get a break from everything, training, Kai, life? But today wasn't meant to be that day.

"What is it now?" he snapped back at his captain, eyes flashing dangerously.

If Kai felt any astonishment at the sudden display of unusual emotions from the holder of Dragoon, he hid it well. "You're not concentrating enough on your training. You're leaving yourself completely open and your blade is starting to wobble. Stop contemplating whatever the hell you were thinking on and get your mind back on the task at hand!"

"I am concentrating Kai!"

Kai stepped up to him and grabbed him by the front of his shirt. He glared darkly and Tyson glared right back. "If you don't concentrate and end up loosing this next match, you'll face me tomorrow for private training. Do you understand that?"

"Yes, my captain," Tyson spat.

"Good." Kai released him. He stood back and set Dranzer in his launcher. "Beat me and you get out of it."

Tyson groaned. "Can I give up now without a fight?"

"No."

__

~Found you there in the blink of an eye~

Great, now I have to spend a whole day with him. Seriously, it's not fair. Tomorrow was supposed to be our day off. Rei and Max are going off doing their own thing, and I'll bet even Kenny has other things besides training to do.

I can't stand him.

Kai.

The very mention of his name makes me want to scream with rage. What does that guy have against me? Man, the way he acts, you'd think I'd killed his favourite pet or something. I swear he has it in for me.

I don't know what it is though, about him. There's just something that niggles at the back of my mind. I can't hate him, and I don't know why. I keep trying, to no avail, yet I still persevere. I'm a stubbourn guy, but even I would have given up normally.

There's just something about him ...

Maybe I'll figure it out tomorrow, when I have to spend the whole day with him. That is so going to suck. He's like a machine, he never stops training, even on days he told us we could have off, I'll bet.

I guess I'll just make sure I enjoy myself tonight. Hmm, pizza, chocolate, sodas, new movies borrowed from Maxie. Sounds like a plan.

~I miss you~

Kai growled in frustration, pacing his room.

Contrary to opinion, he did not have time to waste on Tyson tomorrow. He did have other things planned, but the midnight haired boy had irritated him to no end with his lack of concentration, and he'd just reacted as he normally did. With extra training as punishment.

He glanced quickly over to his desk and sighed softly, a desperate look coming to his eyes as he set eyes on a photograph.

"Grandfather," he whispered, shivering slightly. He'd requested a meeting with him tomorrow. And it would not be wise to cancel, despite how much he wanted to. But he couldn't loose face in front of Tyson. He'd just have to cut their training short and hope his grandfather was feeling lenient.

He threw himself down on his wide opulent bed in his large ornate room and sighed, looking at his reflection in the darkened windowpanes. It was pitch black outside and starting to storm. It would be a cold windy night, and a very long one for him.

Filled with the nightmares that plagued him.

Kai closed his eyes and leaned back into his pillows, letting sleep finally claim him, its dark dreams capturing him in their claws as soon as his bold garnet orbs were hidden from the world.

__

~Turned away into a thousand dreams~

The darkness surrounded and consumed him, smothering, choking, blinding, deafening, stifling.

He had to get out, somehow. He didn't know how.

He cried out, tears pouring down his cheeks, dripping onto his illuminated hands.

Red. Everywhere. It washed over him, like a sea, dripping from his eyes, a dark mockery of his tears of pain. No one could hear him, he was trapped. The way out was blocked by something, someone.

Mocking laughter echoed in his ears, then it started. The pain. The humiliation. He relived every moment of his miserable life, felt every blow, every lash. He couldn't stop it. His screams went unnoticed, almost unnoticed. The laughter continued on, mocking him, taunting him.

He wasn't good enough.

He wasn't strong enough.

He had to make it stop somehow, he had to do something, anything. He had to give in. So he did, he let the pain and the blood wash over him, accepting it, embracing it like a lover. He used it, a shell, a barrier.

They couldn't get through now.

But now, no one else could either.

Was that what he wanted? Did he want to shut everyone out? Did he want to shut _him_ out?

__

~You've found out what they mean~

Tyson sat up and rubbed his eyes blearily.

"What a weird dream," he muttered with a yawn and a stretch. "I feel kind of weird." He got up and walked out of his room to the kitchen, sitting down at the kitchen table and resting his head in his hands. He glanced over at the clock and groaned.

It was only six in the morning.

He decided to sit there for a while, his thoughts running through his mind in a jumble. He was too contemplative to even eat breakfast. That dream was seriously confusing him.

_I don't even know if it was me. What could it mean? I saw the blood and the darkness. Who could it be?_

Tyson's eyes opened wide.

"Kai?"

There was a knock at his front door and Tyson got up and waddled over there, yawning again. He opened the door and looked out in surprise. "Hey Kai. Weren't we supposed to meet later?"

Kai regarded him coolly. "It's seven Tyson. What are you still doing in your pyjamas?"

Tyson looked at him in puzzlement. Then he ran into the kitchen and looked at the clock in shock. It was seven.

"Wow, I must have been thinking that whole time," Tyson muttered. He smiled weakly at Kai. "Sorry. I'll be out in a second." Tyson stopped suddenly, staring at Kai. "Hey, are you all right Kai?"

"Just Hurry up," Kai muttered darkly to him, ignoring the last inquiry. Tyson shrugged and turned away, dashing to his room, the longhaired boy not seeing the slightly soft, vulnerable look on Kai's face as he turned away.

_Why does he even care?_

~Lost you there, in a moment of truth~

"Concentrate Tyson! I really don't have time for you to be wasting."

Tyson glared at his captain then shifted his eyes back to the beyblade dish and his Dragoon. "I am concentrating Kai." This was a blatant lie to both of them and Tyson winced, thinking of the verbal lashing he was about to receive. Instead, all he saw and heard was the sound of his blade hitting the floor outside the dish after a collision with Dranzer.

"I'm leaving." Kai informed him coldly once he'd retrieved his blade. "I don't have time for an amateur blader with obvious issues."

"I have issues?" Tyson was sick of Kai's insults. "You're the one who's been moody all day ... no wait, ever since I've met you you've had a huge stick jammed up your ass!"

Kai turned around, his eye blazing. "Maybe it's because I'm so tired of hearing you whine and complain all the time. It takes a lot of resolve to put up with that kind of shit!"

"Like you didn't already have that attitude before you met me." Tyson glared at him. "What the hell is up with you Hiwatari?"

"My business is my own." Kai turned to go away, but Tyson grabbed his arm and turned him back around.

"Don't push me away Kai. I just want to help." Amazingly, Kai didn't pull away immediately. He stared at Tyson in shock and the dark blue-haired blader continued, with a soft look. "I couldn't concentrate because of you Kai. Why do you keep pushing me away all the time? Why do you despise me so much?"

"Why do you care so much about what I think?"

"Because you're my captain, and I want to be your friend, if you'll let me."

Kai stared at him with a blank face then his eyes hardened and he glared at Tyson. "Keep your focus next time. Don't waste it on such pointless trivial things. Now, I have other things to do, I don't want to spend the rest of the day babysitting a child like you."

Kai ripped his arm from the astonished Tyson's grasp, seemingly not caring about the tears that welled up in the corners of his teammates eyes as he turned away and walked off.

__

~I trust you~

Tyson dashed at his eyes angrily. He stared after his retreating captain's back, feeling a hollowness in the pit of his stomach.

_No, he can't keep doing this._

Tyson glared and chased after him. "Hey," he said angrily as he caught up to Kai, the older boy looking at him in some astonishment. "Kai, you can't treat me like that, I'm sick of it. I'm not a child, and I care about you, yet you rip my head off because of that. I just want to be friends."

Kai laughed at him, a sardonic look in his eyes. "Friends?" he asked with a sneer. "Friendship, love, companionship, even comradeship, they're all lies, deceptions that the weak use to feel better about their lives. I have no use for such trivial, pointless things."

"You're wrong, friendship and love do exist."

Kai smirked at Tyson, who looked furious. "Oh yeah?" He grabbed Tyson by the front of his shirt and leaned in close, his lips brushing past Tyson's ear. "So tell me Tyson, have you ever been in love? Have you ever even been kissed?"

Tyson shook his head, disturbed by Kai's behaviour.

"Well then, let's see what love and friendship are truly like." He moved quickly, capturing Tyson's lips roughly with his. Tyson pulled back a bit, both in astonishment and fright, but Kai held tight, one hand behind his head, the other around his waist. He grasped the thick mass of hair tightly in his grip, making the other boy wince in pain, almost crying out, though he could not. He kissed the younger boy with forcefulness, prying his lips apart and thrusting his tongue inside his mouth, not caring that he was squeezing and hurting the boy with his rough behaviour. Tyson kept struggling away from him, from the unwanted rough intrusion into his mouth.

Kai drew back slightly, biting down hard on Tyson's lower lip, drawing blood. He could feel the other boy's tears on his cheeks and he released him. Tyson stumbled slightly and fell, looking away from the older boy, the tears still streaming down his cheeks.

"So tell me Tyson, what do you say to love and friendship now? How did it feel to have that innocent memory taken from you, and remember, that was just a kiss."

Tyson met his eyes, glaring darkly. "You fucking bastard."

Kai looked down at him coldly, his eyes as hard as rubies. "You don't know me, you can never know me, so stop trying. I don't want your offers of love and friendship. I don't want something that doesn't exist." Kai turned away and walked off, this time Tyson let him, the young boy still sitting on the ground, holding onto his knees, crying softly at the hurt he felt inside.

__

~Gave away your one and only heart~

"You're late."

Kai stifled a shiver at the sound of that dark voice assaulting his ears from the shadows. "I had something to deal with," he replied calmly, trying not to let his grandfather's piercing gaze unnerve him. He sat down before the desk, waiting for his grandfather to say more.

"Yes," Kai felt his heart start to beat faster as he heard the amusement behind the words. "I was told of your training session with the young Kinomiya. I trust that certain events like that shall never happen again?"

"I was merely proving a point grandfather."

"Really?" Kai couldn't control the shiver he felt this time. "Do not be insolent boy, I have no patience for insolence."

"Yes grandfather." Kai bowed his head slightly. "What is it you wished to see me about?" he asked nervously, taking a huge chance by even daring to inquire.

"Kai, perhaps it is time you came home for good. Your time abroad has done you little good. You've become rather rude and unbearable to be around at times." Kai could feel the smile and his heart plummeted. "I think you need to be retrained."

"No ... grandfather," Kai got up out of his seat, his eyes slightly wild. "I'm sure there's no need for that. I apologise for any times that I may have seemed rude, I did not mean it."

"Of course, but I feel it might be best. Some things you have developed in your travels need to be removed. Like the affection you seemed to have gained for your teammates. One in particular."

Kai sweated slightly. "I don't know what you mean grandfather."

Voltaire slammed his fist down on the table and got up. Kai paled seeing his grandfather looking so angry. "Do not be stupid boy, you know exactly what I mean. Do not think me ignorant of anything about you. I own you, I know everything there is to know about you boy. Your feelings are written all over your face. Fear, anger, lust, guilt, shame. Do not try to deny everything. Never forget that you are mine Kai and I can do as I wish with you. You are to be retrained and should you resist, your punishment will be very severe."

Kai shook where he stood, not daring to look up at his grandfather. Two guards came into the room and grabbed his arms. He went with them, completely unresisting, knowing that his life was once again over. The brief freedom he felt being with the Bladebreakers was soon to come to an end.

He was thrown into a cell and the door was locked. Kai leaned up against a wall, knowing exactly what was in store for him soon. He shivered slightly in fear then steeled himself, readying himself for the pain.

He only allowed himself one last thought before closing his eyes and trying to gain some strength through sleep.

_Friendship and love ... how I wish things like that were real._

~A gift to tear apart~

"So how was it yesterday?"

Tyson shrugged at Max's question, concentrating on his food. The others had come over early that morning, ready for the next day of training. Kenny was already typing away at his laptop, trying to gain info on the next tournament. Max was sitting with Rei around the table, both of whom were staring at Tyson.

"Come on Tyson, something had to have happened." Max winced suddenly. "Was it really bad?"

Tyson shrugged again, still not meeting their gaze. "We trained. Kai was his usual bitchy, moody self. Only this time worse, because I'd pissed him off so badly the day before."

Max winced in sympathy. "I guess you should have concentrated more on what was going on around you then."

_I was, but I wasn't concentrating on the battle. I want to know what's going on with him. There's something seriously wrong and I want to find out, so I can help him._ Tyson went back to his cereal, his mind drifting upon Kai and he shuddered slightly thinking about what happened yesterday. _But do I really want to get close to someone like him? Is helping him worth the pain I'm sure to suffer? _Tyson put his spoon back into his half-finished bowl and sighed. _I have to know ... I care about him too much._

"Tyson?" Tyson looked up to see Rei staring at him curiously. Max was talking with Kenny. He'd gotten bored watching Tyson eat. Rei had stayed, noticing that Tyson's mind was elsewhere again, as it had been for a while. "Are you all right?"

Tyson managed a fake smile for him. "Just dandy."

Rei saw through the facade, but couldn't say anything more as there was a knock at the door. Tyson sighed and got up, knowing exactly who it would be. He hesitated slightly before opening the door, steeling himself against the sight of his captain.

Kai barely spared him a glance as he walked into the house. Tyson didn't know if he was pleased or more nervous than before. He followed him into the lounge room where the others were.

"Hey Kai," Max greeted cheerfully. Kenny looked up and smiled then returned to his laptop. Rei started to smile, but he seems to notice something serious was going on and his smile faded.

"Kai?" he asked curiously.

He didn't even look as Tyson entered. The crimson-eyed blader glanced around looking bored. "Seeing as you all reacted so badly last time, I've decided to tell you this in person this time. I'm leaving."

The four younger bladers stared at Kai in astonishment as he then turned and walked towards the door. Tyson shook himself out of his stupor first and followed him to the door. He grabbed Kai's arm and spun him around angrily.

"What do you mean leaving?"

"I'm leaving the piss-poor excuse for a team, I thought that would have been obvious to you."

"Why?"

Tyson thought he saw a flicker of pained emotions in Kai's eyes, but it could have just been his imagination. "That's none of your concern." He pulled away again.

"Bullshit." Tyson grabbed his arm and saw Kai wince slightly. He removed his hand and his eyes widened seeing the bruise on his arm. "Kai ... what?"

Kai's eyes widened and he pulled away. "Just stay the hell away from me Kinomiya, don't bother prying your nose into my business, I don't want or need your concern."

Tyson watched him walk away, a cold hard feeling in his heart. He knew that Kai heard him as he whispered, "So who was it that tore your innocence from you to make you what you are?"

__

~Stain me, save me~

Why is it so cold?

The darkness, I hate it. My memories always emerge from the shadows, dark horrid things I wished would stay buried. Haven't I suffered enough? Wasn't I good enough? I tried ... isn't that all you can ask of me?

I feel the cold again, brought in by the breeze that flows in from outside, along with the blinding exposing light, as the door slowly opens. I tense, knowing what's coming. Why does he do this to me?

I can't think of it, the only way to get through this is to think of something else.

Tyson.

Why does he care so much about me, even after what I did to him? Why doesn't he stay away like the others, why does he keep trying to know me, to understand what happened?

Why does he want to be near me?

Can't he see the filth on me, the stain from my tormented childhood, the stains that will inevitably rub off onto him if he comes close? I don't understand him. I try to push him away, but it doesn't work. He's too damn stubbourn for his own good. That'll get him in trouble one of these days. I really should say something to him about that.

But I can't. I can't be with them any more. I'm 'training' alone with my grandfather, hoping to become better. How, may I just ask, does something like this make someone a better person?

I hate who I am, who I've become because of this.

No ... he approaches me again, that sick twisted smile on his face. I back up into the far wall, trying to escape. He delights in seeing my fear of him. I think he just enjoys doing this to me. I'm good enough aren't I? I tried to be strong, I was strong, I'm a champion.

So why does he hurt me like this?

Why is it still so cold and dark here?

~Take me to my home~

Tyson sat at home, feeling rather depressed.

Max and Kenny had called over to see him and check up on him, then left, unsatisfied, when Tyson would barely even recognise their presence. Rei, who was staying with him for his duration in Japan, had discovered long ago that it was useless trying to talk to or help Tyson when he was in a slump like this. He didn't know why the normally jovial boy was so melancholy, or what to do to get him out of his funk.

"Tyson?" The Chinese blader asked quietly. "I'm going out to the shops, would you like anything?"

Tyson shrugged, staring apathetically out of the kitchen window.

Rei sighed, staring at the boy in worry. "Okay then. Make sure you get something to eat for lunch. I still have leftovers from last night."

That was another thing that was worrying everyone. Tyson hadn't been eating either. Max and Kenny didn't know what to do, they had no idea what was going on, but Rei had an inkling it had to do with Kai.

Everything had basically started around the time that Kai left them a week ago. He'd seen the distress in Tyson's eyes when the older boy had told them of his abandonment. Rei had a suspicion about Tyson's attention to Kai. No one else tried as hard as he to learn more about Kai and try to get him involved in the team. He knew something had gone down the other day too, but Tyson wasn't saying a word.

Rei looked back at him one more time before slumping his shoulders and heading out.

Tyson watched him leave in his peripheral vision. It was nice that Rei worried, but unnecessary. He couldn't help, how could he know how it felt. A mere week ago, he'd had his heart ripped out and shredded before his very eyes, more than once.

It was amazing how much Kai had managed to hurt him, without Tyson even realising how he felt. But now he did. The hollow feeling in his body, his depression, the urge to cry every three seconds, all symptoms of a broken heart. And he'd had no idea.

_How could you do this Kai? Don't you feel any remorse? Would you even care if I demanded an explanation? Or would you just laugh and enjoy my pain?_ Tyson closed his eyes, a tear slipping down his cheek despite his desire to keep his emotions under control and bottled up.

"I have to find out why you did it all," he whispered. Tyson opened his eyes again and sat up straight, a determined look on his face. "You can't keep doing this to us, to me. I won't let you any more Kai."

__

~Hold me, Show me~

Kai coughed, blood pouring from his mouth. He ached everywhere, no part of his body was without sharp pains. He hissed as he moved his arm to wipe his mouth, but he cried out desperately, tears leaking from his eyes, as he tried to shift himself into a more comfortable sitting position.

It had happened again. is grandfather had tried to make him 'strong', resistant to all forms of pain. And the best way to do that, in his opinion, is to get used to pain and learn to ignore it.

_There's only one problem with that,_ Kai thought dryly, wincing and gasping as he inched slowly to a sitting position. _It takes a lot to get used to rape. I don't think I'll ever get used to it, and I don't want to. Giving in to pain is weakness, and I can't afford to be weak._

It was strange how different their definitions of strength were, yet oddly enough, the method seemed to produce the result that Voltaire wished. Kai put aside his weakness, whether in fear of the punishment happening again, or a self-loathing need to rise above the shame he felt, didn't mater much to the old man. Kai was once again pushing away his emotions.

However, it seemed it still wasn't enough to satiate his own sick desires and tastes. Kai knew he'd be back the next day, despite how for almost a week, he'd been beaten, raped and starved in an attempt to make him 'better'.

So when light once again flooded the dingy, dirty disgusting room, Kai flinched from it slightly. He still wasn't strong enough physically to face his grandfather again. He knew he'd break mentally if he had to go through the torture session again so soon, but he tried to stay strong, though the uncontrollable shivers and small whimpers gave away his distress.

"Gods, Kai!"

Kai's head snapped up hearing the concerned and disgusted voice of his teammate. "Tyson?" he whispered then coughed. More blood appeared on the stone floor beneath him and the trembling in his arms grew too much for him. He collapsed onto the ground again.

Tyson rushed over to him with wide eyes. "What happened to you? Is this why you won't stay with us?" He didn't want to touch Kai until he was sure he wouldn't hurt him more.

"Go away Tyson," Kai coughed. "I don't want your help."

"You're getting it anyway." Tyson hesitated slightly then placed his arms under Kai's armpits, but stopped when he heard the boy cry out in agony. "Kai?"

"Why are you bothering?" Kai gasped once he'd been placed back on the floor. "Why do you care?"

"You're my captain." Tyson grinned at him. "Besides, you may be a moody egotistical asshole, but even you don't deserve this. I won't leave you here to live a life like this."

Kai tried to protest again, but Tyson hefted him up and the world blissfully faded to black.

__

~Take me to my home~

Kai woke to the feel of cool water on his forehead.

Tyson smiled as he saw the eyelids of his captain flutter slowly open to reveal scarlet depths. "Hey there," he grinned. "Thought you were going to leave me all alone there for a while."

Kai stared at him in shock and confusion. What was he doing here? And why was Tyson tending to him as though he were an invalid?

He tried to move his arm but found he could barely muster the strength to look to the side. Tyson rolled his eyes. "You really shouldn't try to move, you got hurt pretty badly." He held Kai down with a gentle touch, which proved to Kai jus how weak he was that he could be restrained so easily.

"Why?" he managed to croak out.

Tyson didn't answer him straight away, checking up on his wounds, but Kai could see the faint flush about his cheeks. "I couldn't not do anything," Tyson told him without looking at him. "I'd originally come over to tell you a piece of my mind, but when I saw you everything didn't seem to matter any more." Tyson looked him directly in the eye and Kai was shocked to see his eyes brimming with emotion and pain. "I thought I'd almost lost you."

"You shouldn't have done anything," Kai whispered turning his head away and closing his eyes. He heard Tyson sigh miserably and there was silence for a long time as the younger boy tended to Kai's wounds.

Just as Kai was beginning to drift off to sleep again, he thought he heard Tyson whisper, "Don't you see how much you mean to us Kai? To me? I couldn't leave you there." He sighed again and got up to go out of the room.

"Tyson." The younger boy turned back, startled to find that Kai was awake and staring at him intensely. His heart sped up and he flushed slightly thinking on what he'd just said. Kai's face softened slightly then his eyes hardened and he glared. "Leave me alone, I don't want to see you again."

Tyson turned away, tears brimming in his eyes. "Whatever," he said in a choked voice and left the room, closing the door soundly behind him.

__

~Weaker now, drawing fluid from me~

Rei came to see me today. I think my behaviour's pissed him off. So what's new? I'm always disappointing or annoying someone. Even Rei, it seems, can only take so much before he snaps.

I think it has to do with Tyson. Maybe Rei likes him. That's a laugh. Tyson won't go for him, his heart's taken.

I can feel my ironic grin as I think on this. His heart is indeed taken, by me. The fool. Weren't my actions training the other day proof enough that he'd only get hurt if he came near me, much less tried to love me? But then, Tyson's always been a bit thickheaded. Maybe he thinks he'll be the one to finally break me free from my shell.

You know, he's the only one who actually attempts that futile action. Rei tried at first, but he gave up. I think he realised that it was pointless. I will not let anyone get close to me. But Tyson ...

He just never gives up, no matter how much I try to deter him.

Why am I always thinking of him? What's the point, I hold no regard for him. He's lazy, annoying, frustrating, thickheaded, determined, foolishly loyal, naive, innocent, optimistic ...

That sort of went downhill.

Why does he affect me so strongly? Could it be that ... no, I refuse to let anyone close. I will not let anyone get into another position to hurt me. I must be strong, I have to be perfect, I can't let someone like him come into my ordered life and tear it to pieces.

No matter what my heart says.

~You kill me~

So this is what it's like to die.

It's more painful than I thought.

Rei's worried about me again. I guess I can see why. I'm even worse than I was before. I haven't gone to see Kai again, which I think the others find strange. It's been four days already and Kai's almost healed.

I think I've lost weight. That's probably not a good thing. I haven't been eating, at all. Max has been fussing around ever since Rei blabbed to him and Kenny. I wish he hadn't said anything. Wasting away would be preferable to the pain I feel right now.

I didn't realise how much Kai meant to me. It really hurts to know that he's the one causing me so much pain. Intentionally.

He knows I like him, he's using it against me. It's like that kiss all over again. He won't be satisfied until he's reduced me to a blubbering mass of nothingness. Well, I won't let him. He won't push me around and I won't let him push me away, again.

You know, I'm starting to think however, that my original approaches aren't working. Maybe I should just tell him upfront. Of course, that would be like committing suicide.

Fucking bastard. He loves to toy with me.

Why do I love you so much Hiwatari?

~I'm not afraid of what you have just done~

"I told you I didn't want to see you."

"Tough."

Kai turned around, smirking insolently. "You going to give me that piece of your mind now, or a piece of your heart?"

Tyson shrugged. "What's the difference? Either way you'll shred it to bits, chew it up and spit it out."

Kai laughed. "You're finally learning Kinomiya. It took you a while, but you got there in the end. Well done." Kai turned away again and bent over, wincing slightly, to pick up his shirt and pull it over his head.

"What are you doing?"

"That's a stupid question."

"You're leaving again?"

Kai turned back, a mocking put on his face. "Why? You going to beg me to stay, tell me how much you love me and hope that I'll be swayed enough to stay and live with you happily ever after?"

Tyson flushed, an angry shade, Kai smirked again. "You're pathetic Kinomiya."

"Fuck off Kai, I'm so sick of this. I don't even know why I care so much about you. You're a cold, sick bastard, a sadistic brute who just loves to inflict and get off on pain."

Kai stopped in the process of pulling on his armbands. He turned to face Tyson, an icy look in his eye and the younger boy realised he'd crossed the line with that last comment. "You think so?" Kai asked in a deadly whisper. "Like father like son they always say ... well, in my case it'll be like grandfather like grandson, but let's just test your theory." With amazing speed, Kai launched himself at Tyson and slammed him against the wall, pinning him there painfully, his arms held tightly high against the wall. Kai grinned with a predatory intensity down at him. "Scream for me Tyson, cry, whimper, let's see if I enjoy it as much as you think."

Just as Kai was about to move down and kiss him again, Tyson looked at him through lidded, amused eyes. "So I was right. I do get under your skin."

"What?"

"Why do I affect you so much Kai? You know I'll never stop taunting you, trying to get closer, to get some kind of reaction that isn't automated, not unless you stop reacting to me." Tyson stared at him quizzically. "So why do I get to you Kai?"

Kai stared at him with wide eyes and released him, moving back. Tyson brought his arms down from above his head. "Is it something I say? Something I do? Tell me Kai, why do you keep wanting to keep me silent, afraid?" Tyson stepped back up to him, reaching up to whisper in his ear, "Am I getting to close to you?"

"Shut up," Kai hissed, pushing him away sharply, his eyes wild. "You think too highly of yourself Kinomiya."

"Or maybe I'm right. I'm too close to you, that's why you keep pushing me away. You're afraid you'll lose control of your emotions, of your calm facade. You won't be able to keep yourself hidden, that's why you lash out in hopes that I'll back off." Tyson smiled at him. "Well, I'm not going to back off. I'm a persistent guy Kai, you should know that."

Kai stared at him in shock, his eyes wide, trembling slightly. Tyson could see him struggling with himself. Tyson took a chance and stepped forward, a pleading expression on his face. "Kai, I just want to know you, to help you. I won't hurt you."

Kai looked down, as Tyson placed a hand on his shoulder then spoke. "Tyson, you have no idea who I am, or what I'm capable of." He looked up and grabbed Tyson's hand, causing the boy to gasp in pain. Kai glared at him, his crimson eyes glittering darkly. "I can take much more from you than a kiss, keep pushing and I may just snap."

"I'll take that chance." Tyson stared up at him defiantly with his pale face set.

Kai leaned down and captured him in a rough kiss, once again drawing blood as he bit down with painful force. "The more fool you," he breathed, pushing Tyson towards the bed.

Tyson panicked slightly. His bluffs hadn't worked, Kai was still trying to use pain as a way to keep himself distant. He struggled against the stronger boy, hoping his injuries would keep them on equal footing. But he hadn't counted on Kai being able to heal so fast.

Kai pinned him to the bed, glancing at him coldly, indifferently as he started to unbutton his shirt. Tyson squirmed, but Kai's grip was too strong, and he couldn't get out from underneath the boy straddling him.

"Kai, please," he begged, tears forming in his eyes and falling down his cheeks. "Don't do this."

"I thought you were willing to chance this," Kai replied with a smirk, not stopping in his slow removal of Tyson's garments.

"Could you really live with yourself if you did this to me?"

"I live with a lot of things."

"That's your pain, things that have happened to you. Could you really become like your grandfather and inflict pain like you endured on others?" Kai stopped suddenly, but he didn't release Tyson.

"I'll do whatever it takes to keep you out of my life."

"Then I'll just keep coming back." Tyson heard Kai's intake of breath. "I won't stop in trying to help you Kai. So can you continue to do this to me without breaking? I know I can take a lot, but can you?"

Kai stared down at him. "Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because I care."

"You truly are a fool, aren't you Tyson." Kai got up off him. "You still persist with that foolish idealism about love. Well I don't believe in it. I will never love you, and you could never truly love me, so stop this masochistic suicide mission and move on."

__

~But of what you've just become~

Tyson watched from the bed as Kai gathered the rest of his things and headed to the door. "So you're just going to run away." Kai stopped and Tyson snorted. "Typical. You say you're strong, yet you hide from everything, even love. You know it exists and that it's within your grasp, yet you shy from it. I know I'm right Kai."

"How do you figure that?" Kai glanced over his shoulder.

Tyson sat up and spread his arms wide. "Here I am, well, here I was. If I had been wrong, you would have raped me without a second thought and damned the consequences. The fact that you didn't and that even now you're avoiding the situation shows that you do indeed have a heart and you care, if not about me, then at least about yourself." Tyson stood up and moved over to him grabbing onto his arm pleadingly. "Let me help you Kai."

"I don't want you help!" Kai yelled at him pushing him away into the wall. He looked at Tyson in amazement. "How can I drill it into your head? I don't want to be near you, I don't want to be your friend, I do not want your love!"

"Then why did you stop?" Tyson glared at him. "You can't just leave like this and expect that things will get better for you. You won't be able to avoid dealing with this."

Kai opened the door, shaking his head in disgust. "Who says there's anything I have to deal with? Don't think you know me Tyson, that is the one thing that has landed you here in this mess. Don't think that you meant anything to me, because you don't. But for you ... I'm just a memory to you now. Deal with it." 

And Kai walked out of the room, his bag slung across his shoulders, his pain weighing down on him heavier with every step he took as he walked away from the only person who ever offered him salvation.

__

AN: Okay ... what did you all think? That was one of the first really major angst pieces I've done. I couldn't help it, it just fit so well with my mood and my thought patterns regarding the two of them and a relationship. The song is just so perfect for the story too, I'm in love with it at the moment.

So tell me, should I extend it, or make a sequel one-shot, or just give up writing Kai/Tyson all together? (though I was thinking of writing a more humorous one if you wanted)

Anyways, just drop me a review telling me whatever and I'll try to do what I can to please you (rule no1, always keep the people happy)

Laters.


	2. In My Time of Need

****

Disclaimer: I do not own the series Beyblade, nor any of its characters featured in this fan fiction. I also do not own the song 'In my Time of Need', it belongs to the band Opeth.

__

Okay, I'm back again. Basically all of you requested a sequel, or a continuation, so I decided to do just that. I didn't realise what a huge response I'd get to my story, I was shocked, then I was jumping up and down yelling in glee. 30 reviews for one chapter!!! I've never gotten such a response. And they all basically said that I hav to continue, so I am.

This is probably up a bit earlier than I expected also, but hey, I was so thrilled that I started writing this as soon as I'd read the reviews.

Just a word of warning, I can't write short fics to save my life, even my one-shots are really long, so this probably will be too, but then you should all enjoy that. I'm planning on having seven chapters, and I'm going to rename this story 'Damnation', the name of the album I'm getting the songs for my chapters from, so just a warning in case you can't find the fic again. No other warnings at this point. Things are still fairly mild.

Hope you enjoy the angst.

****

In My Time of Need

__

~I can't see the meaning of this life I'm leading~

A weary traveler stepped into the loud bustling noise of the airport.

He looked around indifferently with cold hard eyes and sniffed in disgust. He hated crowds, people, he hated many things. Mostly, he hated himself, everything he'd done, everything he'd become. He'd left so much behind him because he was too afraid to live.

How pathetic was that?

"So you came."

The traveler glanced to his right once then ignored the person who had sidled up to him as he was contemplating things. He started walking towards the exit, getting his baggage as he passed by.

The stranger smirked and shook his head wryly then followed behind the traveler.

"You're as mature as always Kai," he commented dryly.

"And you're just as irritating as I remember Tala."

The redhead shrugged. "To the eye of the casual observer, yes, I suppose I am, but you should know me better than that Kai."

"I know you more than I'd like to."

Tala raised an eyebrow. "Well, it seems something has your knickers in a twist." He laughed. "You're not still sulking about having to leave that bunch of losers are you?"

"It would be advisable to watch what you say around me," Kai warned in a frosty voice. He glared darkly, his eyes flashing with fire, then he walked off, leaving Tala standing behind him, shivering slightly from both the glare and the chill Kai left in the air and looking down in fear.

Tala looked up, his eyes icy with barely suppressed rage. "You won't be able to hide from me forever Hiwatari," he called out to the retreating Phoenix. "You'll have to face everything eventually."

Kai ignored him, walking out of the airport, his shoulders straight, standing tall, though anyone who knew him could see the dark shadow hanging over his head.

__

~I try to forget you as you forgot me~

"This is so great Maxie!"

Max blushed at the compliment and waved it off. "It's nothing Tyson, I just felt like cooking and I figured you'd be the best person to ask to be a taste-tester."

Tyson glared slightly at him. "Are you trying to tell me I'm a pig?"

Kenny didn't even look up from his food, as he commented dryly, "Like he hasn't before."

Tyson leapt up. "All right, that's it, I'm insulted." He crossed his arms over his chest. "Not another bite until you both apologise."

Rei reached over for his bowl. "Well if you're not gong to eat, I think I might stuff myself." He grinned as Tyson looked aghast at the suggestion that he take his food.

"I wasn't done with that!"

"Well you looked like you were done." Rei pouted slightly then grinned at Max, putting on his best cute kitten face. "You wouldn't happen to have any more would you Maxie?"

Max grinned at him. "Of course. Here." Max gave Rei another helping of his cooking. "I'm so glad you all like it."

"Like it, we love it." Rei grinned and dug into his food happily. The others followed suit.

"Yeah," Kenny agreed, so engrossed with his food he'd left his laptop in the lounge room.

Tyson just nodded, his mouth full.

Max smiled again. "Well, I've still got plenty more. Dad went to go visit mother in America, so I cooked a bit too much, forgetting for a bit he wasn't here." He cocked his head to the side and let out a little chuckle. "Isn't it funny how you do that? You know that someone's left, but you still expect them to walk through a door any second."

Kenny and Rei nodded, but Tyson stopped eating. "Yeah, funny that," he murmured. The others looked at him curiously and he grinned reassuringly. "Just got to go use the bathroom. I'll be back." Tyson could feel Max and Kenny's stares leave him, but Rei's golden eyes followed him suspiciously all the way to the bathroom. He closed the door and sighed, no longer under the scrutiny of his friend.

Rei had stayed for a bit longer than expected. He was still with Tyson, who didn't mind having the boy there at times, but at other times, he got a bit too much to handle.

_I guess it's all my own fault, I should have kept a better hold of my emotions. I just forgot he was around._ Tyson sighed again and looked in the mirror, flinching slightly as he saw his reflection.

But he didn't have to flinch away any more. He'd recovered from his depression, or so everyone thought. For almost three months now he'd been off his medication, the happy jovial child everyone remembered and loved. There was no hint of the withdrawn pale anorexic boy he'd been for four months before that. But Rei still worried.

With good reason. 

Tyson had never really gotten over Kai leaving.

He shivered and looked away from the mirror. He couldn't even think of his name without the fearful painful sensation coursing through him again. A falling sensation, wonderful but frightening in its intensity.

He still loved him. He always would, but he had to face the fact that Kai was no longer there. He'd almost gone completely insane when he was forced to confront that fact.

Tyson shakingly reached into his pockets and drew out a small bottle of pills. He'd told his friends the truth, he was off the medication he'd been prescribed for his depression. These were for anxiety. Sometimes his emotions got too far out of his control, and Tyson didn't like that. He took a pill without water and steadied himself, washing his face, looking back up into the mirror, a bland expression on his face.

_How ironic that I've become so much like you. I see now why you ran Kai, but I don't think I can ever stop hating you for it._

~This time there is nothing left for you to take, this is goodbye~

He saw it happen over and over again.

What could have been.

There were so many things he dreamed, imagine, hoped for, dreaded. Each of them sought him out and trapped him in his dreams. There, he couldn't escape them, escape into reality as he'd done so many times before.

But sometimes the dreams were better than reality. He hated what happened, he wanted something different, but it always ended in tragedy. He always came back to reality.

Rape.

One possibility, the one he dreaded, and almost wished for. It would have been a sign of finality, a confirmation of _something_. It was an end in itself, and in a way, it would have ended everything cleaner than it had been left before. Rape he would have been able to move past.

Love.

The other extreme. But did he even believe in its existence? Did he ever? Was it real? Could he get it? He didn't know, he could never imagine this scenario. It never worked. He could never be happy.

Death.

Suicide. Tragedy. Passion. He saw this one over and over again, it haunted him with its reality. Pain, it was a close friend, he embraced it as a lover now. Sometimes death would be preferable to anything else. But whose death, his own, or the other's?

They came every night, the dreams, the possibilities. Each one terrifying, beautiful, fake. Each morning he awake to the tears and the ache of reality.

What more did he have to give up to be at peace?

__

~Summer is miles and miles away~

He was back here again.

The tall dark oppressive walls closed in on him and he fought the urge to run and escape the horrific prison, yet he knew he had to stay. He had no other choice.

"There's nothing quite like the feeling you get when you come home."

Kai glanced over at Tala, who was looking up at the Abbey in disgust. "I don't know why you came back."

"I have to." Kai walked over the snow-covered walkway to the entrance of the gothic building and entered the gaping maw of darkness. Tala watched him leave and turned away, moving back over to stand by the gates, staring up at the dark building, not quite ready to go back inside himself.

"So it's true then."

Tala nodded once, glancing over at his companion who had appeared suddenly, leaning with his eyes closed against the wall beside him. "Yeah. He's back."

"Why?"

"Didn't you hear the rumours? He'd left the Bladebreakers after they helped him out with his grandfather." Tala smirked. "The fool." He looked over at his teammate again. "Didn't Boris tell the rest of you?"

"Seems you're the only one with those privileges Tala." The other boy turned away with a glare.

"Bryan wait." Tala grabbed the boy's arm. He glared back as Bryan turned around. "What is your problem?"

"Kai. I don't want him here."

"Why not?"

Tala hid his shock well as Bryan slammed him against the wall, leaning in close. Bryan caught his icy gaze with his intense stare. "I know what you want Tala," he whispered, leaning in close to the boy. "You couldn't hide it from me, and now that he's back, you're not going to give up until you get what you want."

Tala smirked. "You do know me well, Bryan." He brought his face millimetres in front of his companion's, his eyes lidded and amused. Bryan leaned in closer. "I always get what I want," Tala continued, his voice barely a whisper, the movements sending slight shivers through the other boy. Bryan leaned in again.

Tala pulled away with a smirk. "Your jealousy and desire are traits that could be used against you in battle. We'll have to work on that in training." Tala pushed the other boy away and walked away, knowing his left a very frustrated falcon to cool off in the snow.

From the darkness of the entrance foyer, Kai could almost see the stream rising from the boy as he stared lustily after his captain. He rolled his eyes at the scene and walked further into the darkness of the place he once called 'home'.

__

~And no one would ask me to stay~

Tyson sighed as he glanced over at his friends laughing and enjoying themselves. He wished he could join in and be happy too, but his moods had been really weird lately. He would be ecstatic one minute and the next dark and grumpy.

"Tyson," he looked up at the sound of Rei's voice. The neko-jin was grinning at him and gesturing for him to join in the revelry. "Don't you like the movie?"

Tyson managed a fake smile and nodded. "Yeah, I'm just a little tired."

Rei looked at him sadly and nodded, knowing he was lying. "Sure." Tyson couldn't help but feel slightly guilty at the expression on Rei's face. The boy was just trying to help him, and all he'd been doing lately was pushing him away. Tyson sighed as Rei turned away again, the neko-jin not enjoying himself as much as before.

He couldn't help it though, he didn't want Rei to get too close. He wasn't sure what would happen. He didn't want to risk being hurt again by another of his closest friends.

Once the movie was over they all headed back to Tyson's place, considering two of them were staying there, for the afternoon.

"So what do you want to do?" Kenny asked curiously.

Max shrugged. "Not sure, guess we could do something when we get there. Rei? What do you think?"

Rei thought this over with a frown. "I have no idea. What about you Tyson?"

"Don't care," Tyson mumbled. He was walking along with his hands shoved into his pockets, an air of depression hanging about him. Rei and the others looked at him worriedly and shared concerned glances, which Tyson ignored. He knew they worried, but he gave up caring any more.

"Why don't we head over to my place then and check out if my dad's got any new stuff in," Max suggested with a smile. "It'd be great if we found some components to use on our blades."

"That's a great idea Maxie," Kenny grinned. "We haven't done much blading, or even upgrades for a while."

Rei shrugged. "Sure, I'm in." He looked over at Tyson and frowned slightly.

"I think I need to get some rest guys," Tyson told them. "I'm feeling a bit peaky today. Sorry." Tyson smiled apologetically and walked off down the street, knowing the others were staring sadly at his retreating back.

"I'm still worried," Max told the others with a frown. "I know Tyson's fine, but sometimes, he's just so different to what he was before."

"Yeah. I thought for sure something like this might cheer him up." Kenny looked a bit down.

Rei sighed. "I guess he's still caught up in things. I think I'll bail guys, I really should go and keep an eye on him."

Max nodded and Kenny smiled at him as he left. Then Max sighed. "He's chasing a hopeless battle there."

"Yeah. Tyson's still in love with Kai, I doubt he even knows Rei exists."

"But Rei won't stop trying to help him." Max sighed again. "I don't think he even realises what a great friend he has in Rei, or what else he could possibly have."

__

~And I should contemplate this change

To ease the pain~

It's as I remembered. The sounds, the sights, the scents, the taint is everywhere you go, as is the darkness.

But I like the dark. I thrive in darkness.

Like a monster.

It was my idea to come back here, to Russia and the Abbey. I'd wandered around for a month or three then I'd gone back to Grandfather when I realised I had nowhere else to go. He gave me a choice. He would retrain me, or Boris would. I chose Boris. At least here I am away from my Grandfather and his 'training'.

I shudder thinking of the time I saw him once I'd finally returned to the house. He was furious, looking ready to kill. He was ready to go after Tyson ...

I don't know why I did it, but I stopped him, brought his attention back to me. I think I said something cocky and he turned back to me, those dark eyes blazing. I was in for it. He gave me the choice but I still didn't leave for a few months.

He still wasn't completely done with me from last time and it took me a while to absorb my 'training' again and to recover from it. So much for grandfatherly love.

At least I'm not with him any more, I'm not sure I could stand another day with him. That mansion just reminds me of everything I've suffered there. I had to get away, it was choking me with the taint.

And now I'm here, amidst and assimilated into another type of tainted darkness so similar to my grandfather's but it is still a welcome change to my mansion. I should be happier, but I know that this place is no better than back in Japan. The only difference is the person handing out my punishment. And the others.

Tala.

It's been so long since I've seen him ... actually, it's only been a year since the World Championships but it seems like an age with everything that's happened. I smirk thinking about him. I know he wants me, he made that much obvious with the first words out of his mouth. The tone he used, the way he stood, his expression.

Perhaps it wouldn't be so bad here. There are some benefits I can see.

Though, he's still not Tyson.

~And I should step out of the rain

And turn away~

I could hear the sound of the rain pounding on the roof of the dojo as I attempted to sleep.

I haven't been able to do that for a long time.

Not without nightmares.

It was always the same thing: Kai. He was in every one of my dreams. Even after all this time I still can't forget him and move on. I don't want to, a part of me wants to hold onto him forever, but I know that he could never love me like I want him to.

I don't care, I just want him near. I want to feel his presence close beside mine. I want to feel his touch on me over and over again, I want him to kiss me, roughly, like he did before. I want him to take me. I just want him.

He was right, I am a masochist.

This isn't healthy, dwelling on him, on what could have been, especially when I know he would have just hurt me. I really have to move on, but I can't I don't want to. No one could replace Kai in my heart.

Rei.

He's been so good to me, so kind and helpful. He never complains, always smiles for me, trying to cheer me up. And all I do is treat him badly, ignore him. I should apologise to him.

But I'm not sure if I can.

See, I know something. I heard Max and Kenny talking once and it got me thinking on a few things.

Rei loves me. There's no other explanation for it. The reason why he's still here, why he puts up with everything. And I'm taking advantage of his kindness and feelings.

Don't I feel great?

But if I apologise to him, I don't think I'll be able to stop myself from pouring out my heart to him. I've kept everything, my emotions, my thoughts, my life, so bottled up and ordered so I can keep control. Once the lid's off, I'm not sure I can stop everything from coming out. And if I tell him, it will just hurt him, knowing I still want to be with the person who hurt me so badly before.

I couldn't do that to Rei, he means too much to me. If it wasn't for him, I don't think I would have coped as well with everything.

Maybe it's time I moved on.

But can I?

~Close to ending it all, I am drifting through the stages

Of the rapture born within this loss~

Kai panted heavily, his eyes drooping closed, his shoulders slumped, his legs trembling from exhaustion. Blood was dripping down from various wounds. His vision was clouded with red as a gash on his head stained his pale face.

"Weakling," a voice hissed from the shadows opposite him.

Kai growled and straightened himself, ignoring the protests in his muscles and bones as he did so. Another sharp pain struck his arm and he cried out, loosing concentration again.

"You've gotten so weak, I should just kill you now."

"I'm not finished yet," Kai spat, flinching slightly as a cut appeared on his cheek. 

"Oh really? You look done to me."

"I'm not. Dranzer!"

The Phoenix gave a huge cry and rose up, slamming into the huge falcon appearing suddenly above the dish.

"Falborg!"

There was a huge crash and a flash of light then two blades went spinning out of the dish. Kai watched Dranzer roll away from him slightly then his eyes rolled up in the back if his head and he collapsed onto the ground.

Bryan smirked at the sight, and caught his blade, then stepped forward into the light, beside Kai. "So what do you think of him now Tala?"

Tala stepped away from the wall, his face unreadable and his eyes hard. He stepped into the light and looked down at Kai. "He's not been training much," he sniffed disdainfully. "Even Rei could withstand that attack, yet he could not. Pitiful."

Kai groaned slightly and stirred.

"I do believe a failure of this magnitude deserves punishment," Bryan smirked and looked up to the observation window where he knew Boris was watching. "You have a preliminary analysis of the blader, sir. What do you suggest we do now?"

Boris' voice came over the speakers. "Take him to the lower levels and put him in a containment room. I shall deal with him personally."

"Yes sir," Bryan grinned darkly and bent down to heft Kai onto his shoulders. He frowned slightly. "Looks like Kai hasn't been taking very good care of himself either. He's lighter than you Tala."

Tala frowned. "Just bring him down. His physical health is not your concern."

"I'm sure it will soon be yours though," Bryan muttered.

Tala turned and smirked back at him. "Indeed it will be." He turned back away, knowing there would be a dark glare on Bryan's face, and led the way to the containment cells.

Once they reached the dank dark cells, the shoved Kai into one and locked the door seeing him stirring slightly on the floor. Tala looked through the barred window and saw the garnet orbs revealed.

"Glad to see you're awake Kai."

Kai turned his head and glared. "Fuck off Tala."

"Oh, touchy about the loss? You'll be more than sore about that once Boris is done with his punishment." Tala smirked as he saw Kai pale. "Perhaps you should try harder next time. You might loose more gracefully and less painfully next time."

Kai watched the redhead leave with a growing apprehension. It was just as he remembered here, as painful as his 'home'. He got up, wincing at his injuries, and leaned against the wall, breathing heavily.

He wished he wasn't here. He wished he was anywhere but here.

He wished above all else he was with Tyson.

_I'm sure he would have found some way to lighten the mood of this situation, _Kai thought wistfully. He looked down in pain, thinking about the boy he'd hurt. _Of course, if I had been with Tyson, I wouldn't be in this situation at all. I'd be happy._

He looked up again as he heard a key turn in the lock. He shivered and got to his feet as the familiar robed and masked figure walked through the open door.

"Well Kai, it seems we have a slight problem."

"Yeah?" Kai tried to suppress his shiver, but knowing what was coming next, he couldn't hold it back.

Boris grinned seeing the boy's fear. "Indeed." He backhanded Kai, who slammed into the wall with a huge smack. He coughed, blood trickling down his chin. Boris stepped closer and pinned him to the wall by his throat. Kai choked and tried to tug at Boris' hand, to no avail. "You will need to be retrained as your grandfather has said, but I fear matters are worse than he described."

Kai paled and struggled again to move out of Boris' grip, his vision starting to blacken. He didn't care about the tears streaming down his face, he just wanted to get away. "No, please don't," he tried to plead, but Boris didn't listen, he just began Kai's punishment.

__

~Thoughts of death inside, tear me apart from the core of my soul~

Tyson knocked hesitantly on Rei's door. It was rather late and he was sure the Rei was asleep, but it had finally gotten to be too much for him to handle alone. This last nightmare had been the final turning point for him. He needed someone to talk to desperately.

Rei opened the door, yawning slightly and looking disheveled and a little annoyed. Seeing Tyson, his expression lightened a bit, but he still looked at him sharply. "Tyson, it's midnight. We went to bed two hours ago."

Tyson looked down. "I'm sorry Rei, but ... I just ..."

Rei looked stunned as he saw a tear slip down Tyson's cheek. He put an arm around the boy and led him inside his room, closing the door behind him. "What's wrong Tyson?"

Tyson sniffed and sat down on the bed beside Rei. "I just ... I need to ... it hurts so much." He suddenly clung to Rei and started sobbing. Rei, who had seen him like this a few times, just pulled the boy closer and gently soothed him, patting his hair gently.

"Don't worry Tyson, it'll be okay. I'm here and I want to help. You don't have to do anything."

"But I want to tell you," Tyson sniffed. "But I don't want to hurt you."

Rei smiled at him. "I'm here for you, I just want to help and if talking will help you, I will listen."

Tyson nodded, still holding onto Rei. "I've tried to keep things to myself, I didn't want to worry you guys, but I can't do it. I'm not a person who can just keep secrets."

"What secrets?"

"I still love him." Tyson could feel Rei's sudden stillness and heard the sharp intake of breath. "I want him," he continued, as predicted, unable to stop. "I know he hurt me, but there's something to him. I don't want to let him go, even though I know I should." Tyson laughed dryly. "He called me a masochist, but I loved it when he kissed me, but only him. I don't think I'd be able to love anyone else with such passion. But it hurts to know he's not here."

Tyson looked up to see Rei was looking away from him. Tyson winced slightly, knowing this was a bad idea. "I should go." He was about to pull away from Rei, when the neko-jin stopped him.

"No, it's okay. I'll always be here if you need me." Rei managed to finally smile at him again.

"Thanks. I know that it's not good, but I can't move on, not yet. Sometimes I wish he'd just raped me and had done with it."

"What?" Tyson paled as he heard Rei's shocked exclamation. "When did that happen?"

Tyson looked away guiltily. "He didn't do it, I provoked him to, but he stopped himself. That means he cares about me doesn't it? The fact that he didn't do it?" Tyson looked up at Rei pleadingly. "Doesn't that mean that some part of him cares for me, doesn't want to hurt me? I was right about him, he doesn't really meant to do it, right?"

Rei stared down at Tyson in pain. The boy looked so hopeful, and he was going to have to dash it all if he wanted Tyson to feel better. "I don't think so Tyson. I'm sorry, but Kai doesn't care for you, not like you wish him to. I can't lie to you and pretend that I like Kai after what he's done, but I know that whatever small feelings of compassion he has are most likely gone from him now."

Tyson looked stricken at these words. He pulled away, much to Rei's protest and stared at the Chinese boy before him, tears in his eyes. He got up and stared at Rei intently. "You're wrong, he has to care about me, otherwise he would have hurt me more."

"What do you mean more?" Rei looked angry. "He's driven you to depression and mental instability! For _seven_ _months_ you've had to deal with what he's done to you. Please Tyson, you have to move on and stop hurting yourself by dredging his memory up continually." Rei looked at him pleadingly. "You can't do this to yourself."

Tyson turned away and walked out of the room, slamming the door behind him. Rei sighed and laid down on his bed, one arm over his face. He could feel the tears form and start to slide down his cheeks.

"Can't you move on?" he whispered brokenly. "Can't you give up the person who hurt you so badly? Can you just look and consider what you could possibly have with me?"

__

~At times the dark's fading slowly

But it never sustains~

Kai woke to pain. He cried out pitifully, tears forming in the corner of his eyes. It was just as he'd woken all those months ago.

But this time Tyson wouldn't be here to help him out and carry him to his home.

No, this time he had to get out himself and go back to his room, readying himself for this sort of punishment every time he failed. It was just as it was when he was a child.

He winced, the tears mingling with dirt and dried blood on his cheeks, as he pushed himself up off the ground. His arms collapsed and he lay on the floor again, breathing heavily.

_At least I know they won't come for me too soon,_ he thought with some small degree of satisfaction. Though it was not enough to drive away the pain and humiliation he felt.

The punishment was starting to fail them again. He was becoming more resistant to everything. Perhaps it was the time he'd spent away from the Abbey and his grandfather. In those few short months with the Bladebreakers, he'd rediscovered his emotions and had found out what it was like to have friends. It wasn't easy to give that sort of thing up again.

They wouldn't be able to beat it out of him again. They would have to resort to worse measures. Kai was sure they'd start soon, knowing that he was still not responding even to the continual near-death situations he was placed in.

He decided to try again at getting to his feet. The door had been left open for him after Boris had left, a mocking taunt from the director of the Abbey. Kai got to his knees and steadied himself with his hands, one against the wall. He managed to get up onto trembling legs and leaned heavily against the wall, panting, trying to stop the dizzying feeling in his head and to get his breath back. He took one small step forward and almost fell over again, but he grit his teeth together and concentrated.

He knew he must look pathetic. The great Kai Hiwatari, reduced to this pitiful state. If his teammates were here, how they would laugh to see him like this. _Former teammates_, he corrected himself. _Though, Tyson helped me out once. Would he do so again? Even after what I did to him? Tyson is a forgiving boy, but I may have pushed him too far with my actions._

Did I really want him so far removed from my life? Am I happy being so far away from him? Kai sighed, knowing the complete opposite was true. He looked up and saw that being lost in his thoughts, he had managed to get out of the small room and to the bottom of the stairs.

This would be the greatest chore he had yet faced. But he was no quitter.

Life is pain, and living is overcoming that pain.

__

~Would someone watch over me~

Rei peered nervously through the crack in the door to see if Tyson was still up. Their fight the night before had torn at his heart through the whole day, and he'd finally come to apologise. He shouldn't have said such things to the boy while he was so obviously distraught and seeking comfort.

He knocked hesitantly on the door. "Tyson?" he called out.

"Come in." Rei took a breath and opened the door. Tyson watched him enter, still half-dressed and his hair damp from the shower. Rei gulped at the sight and at the slight hardening around Tyson's eyes.

"I came to apologise." Tyson looked shocked at the admission and Rei continued. "I shouldn't have said such things to you, especially not while you're still coping with things. It was harsh of me."

Tyson studied him curiously, looking for any hints of falsity, but Rei looked guilty and saddened. Tyson smiled at him, knowing that Rei only sought his well being. "I shouldn't have come to you like that."

"No," Rei walked swiftly to him. "I told you that I would be there for you. I will never desert you Tyson. I'll be with you for as long as you need me, a shoulder to cry on, a friend to talk to, even just someone to sit with." Rei smiled at him. "I won't judge you, or hurt you."

"Thanks Rei. You've always helped me out when I needed it." Tyson smiled shyly. "I've never really had a close friend who'd done that for me." He laughed. "Mostly because I never needed it before. But I am glad you're here."

Rei nodded. "Me too. I enjoy being in your company."

Tyson blushed slightly. "I'm not that interesting to be around." He turned and pulled on his shirt for bed, having talked to Rei with it still in his hands. Rei was the one to blush slightly at the display this time.

"Hey Rei?"

"Yeah?"

"Could you stay with me?" Rei's breath hitched as he heard the quiet request from the boy turned away from him slightly. Tyson seemed embarrassed, but fearful as well. Rei couldn't refuse him.

"Of course."

"Maybe with you here, the nightmares won't plague me," Tyson whispered. Rei heard him and paled. He didn't realise how bad things were for the boy. How much had he kept inside, hidden from them all?

He climbed into the bed after turning off the light, sliding in beside Tyson, his heart pounding hard in his chest. Tyson turned and snuggled into him, causing Rei to gasp softly then place his arms around him comfortingly.

"Sleep well Tyson," he murmured softly, drifting slowly off to sleep, his heartbeat returning to normal once he'd gotten used to the situation he was so suddenly placed in.

"Wish I could," Tyson whispered back. He glanced at Rei's calm face, noticing the closed eyes and steady breathing. He gently placed a soft kiss on Rei's cheek. "Thank you."

__

~In my time of need~

Kai was in a state of half-consciousness as he heard the door to his room open slowly. He didn't open his eyes, being too tired. He didn't need to, he could tell who it was that had opened his door.

The familiar scent washed over him as the intruder stepped closer to his bed. Kai couldn't care, he was still concerned by his severe injuries. He'd managed to find his way back to his room without collapsing, then as soon as he'd gotten to his room he resisted the urge to fall onto the bed and go to sleep. Instead, he went to the bathroom and washed the blood and grime off himself, almost passing out as he did so. Finally he was clean and trying to sleep, but it seemed someone else had other ideas.

Kai flinched slightly as a weight pressed down on the bed, then leaned back, still to tired to comprehend everything, his mind hazy, looping around and confusing him.

"Tyson?" he breathed.

He felt the intruder move closer and lean in to him. "Not quite," came the whisper.

Kai's eyes snapped open.

"Tala!" he gasped.

The redhead smirked at the reaction he'd gotten. "Glad to see you finally remember my name." He moved over, stretching one side of himself over Kai's still form and looked down upon him.

"What do you want?" Kai asked, closing his eyes again.

"You."

Kai snorted then gasped in pain as Tala pushed down on his shoulder. He glared up through pain-filled eyes at the boy to see Tala still smirking.

"Not a good idea Kai," Tala warned him. "I don't believe that you have the strength to resist me right now."

"Probably not," Kai admitted.

Tala leaned down, bringing his body closer to Kai's, his icy eyes lidded seductively. "That's unfortunate, I wanted to make you scream without any help. But I'll settle. I don't think I'd get this sort of opportunity again."

"Definitely not."

"Well, while you're here, you might as well enjoy yourself with me." Tala placed ghostly touches of his lips along Kai's jaw, up to his ear. "Pretend I'm your draconic bitch if you really want. It might help you loosen up a bit," he breathed into his ear, laughing at the growl that emitted from Kai.

"Don't push it Tala," Kai warned with a dark glare and a hiss. "I won't be like this forever you know."

"But you'll probably be like this for most of your stay here." Tala looked down at him again in amusement and flicked out his tongue, tasting Kai's soft lips with a smile. "You won't be able to stop me from doing this to you over and over again."

"Who said I wanted to?" Kai smirked back at him and lifted his hands to bring Tala's face down to his, capturing him in a kiss.

__

~Close to ending it all, I am drifting through the stages

Of the rapture born within this loss~

Could I do it?

Tyson stared down at the bloodied knife in his hands, his palms and wrists already stained with the liquid of life dripping down onto the floor of the bathroom.

He'd had the nightmare again, though worse than ever this time. He wasn't sure he could take any more of this, it was getting too hard to bear. But he was not one to just give up, he never had been. Even Kai could not take that away from him.

He quickly washed his hands, the white porcelain turning red, then got out some bandages and disinfectant from the cabinet. He cleaned and bandaged his hands, having gotten quite familiar with the routine during his depression. But he hadn't done this for a long time. Strangely that posed no problem. Like riding a bicycle, it was hard to forget how to properly treat and bandage wounds.

Tyson looked out of the door of the bathroom and over to his room, the door left open.

Rei was still lying peacefully under his blankets, a soft beautiful smile on his face. Nightmares weren't plaguing him as they were Tyson. He was sure that Rei's dreams contained nothing but happiness for the boy.

_Guess it didn't help having him there._ Tyson sighed and started placing things away in the bathroom, cleaning up any mess he'd made, the red stains soon fading and once again revealing sparkling white. He turned off the light and closed the door behind him making his way back to the room. He climbed back into the bed after closing his door.

He looked over at Rei with a pained expression. 

_I'm not sure what can help me now. Things are getting to be too much for me. I can't do this alone any more._

He looked over at Rei, tears starting to form in his eyes again.

"Rei?" he whispered, pushing on the boy slightly.

Rei stirred and opened his eyes groggily. "Tyson?" he asked in a slurred voice.

"Help me Rei," Tyson breathed, clutching the boy tightly to him. "Please help me."

__

~Thoughts of death inside, tear me apart from the core of my soul~

AN: Oh my gosh! What have I done to Tyson?!! ... I blame high school for all this angst!

Complications galore in this chapter. You guys wanted a continuation, well you got it. I cannot write a long piece without having plot lines and complications and for an angst especially, I need major ones.

At least things are enjoyable this way. (I hope) Tell me what you all think.

Adieu.


	3. Windowpane

****

Disclaimer: I do not in any way own the series Beyblade or its characters featured in this fan fic.

__

Sorry for the slight delay, but things happened. I graduated! Woohoo! Formal's on tomorrow night and I'm surprised that I was even able to sit still long enough to finish writing and post this. Of course soon I'll be worrying about HSC exams, so the next chapter might not be out for a while. Really sorry about that. I'll try and update quickly, I'm halfway through writing the chapter already anyway.

Anyway, I notice that many of you seem rather vehement in your opinions about my 'complications'. Do not fret, this fic is a Kai/Tyson, despite however many stumbling blocks or pairings I put in the way. Though, I'm pleased to be getting such an enthusiastic response to this little story of mine. But hey, Tala/Kai and Tyson/Rei are two of my other favourite pairings. I had to put something in there.

Hope you all enjoy this chapter. One thing though, it's basically an entire chapter on Kai and his past and emotional turmoil, so Ty's not in this much. And you're probably all going to hate me at the end of the chapter, but hey, at least my story's interesting.

****

Windowpane

__

~Blank face on the windowpane~

Snow fell gently down dusting his face and hair with soft white powder. A bright smile lit up his formerly gloomy and pensive features and he pulled away from his guardian's hand to run around in the slushy landscape. A high-pitched giggle escaped his mouth as he tried to catch the slowly descending flakes with his gloved hands.

A sharp pain on his cheek sent him sprawling into the coldness.

"Behave yourself, this is no way for you to be acting."

The boy sniffed and looked up at the cold irritated man standing above him. He got to his feet with a wince and bowed his head, his cheek still sore from the sharp slap. "Yes grandfather. I apologise." He dared not to argue that it was his first time seeing snow. He didn't want to risk his grandfather's wrath again.

The man grunted, an apparent acceptance of the apology, and turned away, continuing to walk down the street. The boy struggled to catch up, his short legs unable to keep as long a stride as the older man's.

"A child of your stature and station cannot be indulging in such frivolous immature activities Kai."

The boy nodded at this, knowing he deserved the lecture from his grandfather.

"Where am I to be going grandfather?"

"There is no need to tell you," came the short reply. "You will soon arrived there."

Kai sighed and nodded gloomily.

Since his parents' sudden death only a few short weeks ago, he'd lived with his grandfather in a huge mansion in Japan. Kai had barely had time to mourn his parents properly, much less get used to this sudden change in his life, before he'd been whisked away here:

Russia.

He'd never been so far away from home before. He didn't quite know where Russia was exactly, but considering that he not only had to take a long plane ride here and the fact that it was sub-zero temperatures and perpetually snowing here, even in summer, it must have been rather far away. All his grandfather would tell him was that he was going away to a school for a while and that it was best for him to go there. He was to become strong and this was the best way for him to become the person his grandfather wanted him to be.

They finally arrived at their destination: huge dark walls with a massive black iron gate surrounded a tall, large and very scary looking building. Kai got chills as he saw it.

This was his school? He'd rather go and play with the common children than go inside that place.

He looked over his shoulder at the sound of delighted laughter. There was a small group of children running in a nearby field dusting each other with freshly fallen snow. Kai watched them wistfully as they continued to laugh and scream in delight, starting mock wars and making various snow features together. He was envious of their friendliness towards each other and the freedom and happiness they exuded. He wished he could be among them, innocent as they were.

A sharp tug brought him back to reality and reluctantly he followed his grandfather into the miserable place that would be his home for many years to come.

__

~Made clear in seconds of light~

With the strange intuition that only children seem to possess, Kai knew that he was not in a very nice place. The walls seemed to pulsate with darkness and debauchery, the flaming scones on the walls only served to enhance the hideous nature of the Abbey.

Seeing the face of the man who would be in charge of his life, Kai shuddered, receiving a cuff on his ear for the move. But he knew that Boris, as the man introduced himself, was not the person parents should be sending their children to for educating.

If that was even why he was being sent here. Kai had the strange impression, however, that his grandfather had been lying to him the entire time.

"Well Kai," Boris bent down and stared at Kai with his piercing eyes and a slight cold smile on his face. Kai stared back at him with wide eyes, not daring to move or make a sound. Strangely Boris seemed pleased by this. "It looks as though we'll soon be knowing each other a lot better." Kai wanted to shiver at the strange look that passed over Boris' face, but couldn't.

"Just remember," his grandfather cut in suddenly. "I want him to become the best Boris. That was the entire point of our agreement. Kai will be your main project."

"Indeed. I would have it no other way Voltaire." Boris stuck out his hand and Voltaire hesitated only slightly before taking it. Boris grinned. "You've made the right choice."

"I do hope so, or it will be your head." Voltaire looked at his grandson disdainfully one last time before walking out of the room and out of Kai's life once again.

Kai could not deny the slight relief he felt knowing this.

Boris caught his attention again with a quick slap to his cheek. Tears came to his eyes and Kai let himself wonder why this was happening to him all of a sudden.

"You will not show such weaknesses again," the cold man snapped. "You are not here for enjoyment. You are here to become a weapon. That will be your only goal: to become the best, to become strong."

"How?" Kai asked nervously.

He backed away slightly as Boris grinned in a lecherous manner and stepped towards him. "You'll soon find out Kai and by the end of this, you will be perfect, or you will die trying." Kai could not help the whimper that came out of his mouth at this revelation.

__

~Disappears and returns again~

There were others already here. Some older, some younger, some as old as he. All cold and empty.

Walking into the main gathering area for all 'students' at the Abbey, Kai noticed many other children standing around, not talking and barely moving, grim expressions on their features. Like everything else at this place, Kai feared them and avoided them, walking over to stand by an empty space on the wall. He leaned back, trying to blend into the background as much as possible.

Yet stares turned his way. He folded his arms across his chest in a protective manner and tried to look passively about.

"So you're him?"

Kai looked around and saw a redhead standing beside him, glancing at him curiously. Unlike the others here, he at least seemed to have some mild curiosity showing on his face.

"Him?"

"Voltaire's grandson."

Kai frowned. "You know my grandfather?"

The boy barked a short laugh. "Everyone here knows Voltaire. You'd be a fool to cross him, even if you're family I'd imagine." He smirked. "You look like a weakling."

Kai growled. "I am not weak."

"You'll have to prove that to everyone here, and that's no easy feat."

"Why are you telling me all of this?"

The boy cocked his head to the side and studied Kai closely. "I'm not too sure myself. You look interesting, even if you are a weakling." He laughed as Kai growled again. 

"Stop calling me that."

The boy ignored him. "Maybe I'm hoping you will stay. You look to be the sort who will cause quite a bit of chaos around here. As you can see the place really needs a bit of shaking up. I'd do it myself, but I'm not willing to risk it just yet."

"Risk what?" Kai suddenly grew interested.

The boy shut up, a guarded look crossing his features. He looked away. "You'll find out soon enough," he replied in a cold voice.

__

~Counting hours, searching the night~

Tala, that's the brat's name. He's an irritating little bug. I want to squash him. What's worse is that he's my roommate along with three others.

Bryan ... he's one of the creepiest guys I've ever met. He barely says a word and he has this look in his eye ... he's completely empty, soulless almost. I think that he's exactly what Boris was talking about when he was blabbing on about becoming a weapon.

Ian is a short guy even younger than I am. Apparently he's the youngest here. He's a vicious, yet whiny brat. A perfectionist if I ever saw one. He's a bit of a weasel too, prying into my affairs as soon as he saw me.

Spencer is big ... really big. But then he's older than I am, so I guess it's sort of normal. Though, like the others, he's far from normal. He's quiet, but kind of violent and short tempered. I really don't want to get him angry too often. He was yelling at Ian about something the first time I saw him. Not something I want to repeat.

This is who I'm to be surrounded by for my 'education'. I know I'm going to hate it here.

Especially if Tala's going to be here all the time. I swear, he has the most annoying quirks of the lot of them. An extremely irritating and slightly morbid sense of humour is only the beginning. He seems to have developed a fascination for me and is following me around like a pet dog. Maybe he's just a spy for Boris or something. He hasn't left my side all day.

Night approaches now. I hate the dark. I get the feeling that worse things happen here after the sun has gone down.

I'm not sure that I want to find out what exactly. Everyone keeps talking about how I will 'find out soon'. Find out about what? Every mention of punishment or training has _been met with fear. Just what do these people do here?_

~Night be waiting for someone

Night be there for us to see~

Kai slipped out of his bed in the middle of the night. He'd tried to sleep, really he had, but he just couldn't. It was too unfamiliar, too cold, too ... scary. There was an air of fear and pain that was soaked into the very walls of the Abbey, something that no amount of scrubbing could wash away.

He shivered violently, not just from the cold, as he walked down the empty echoing hallways. Each step he took seemed like a momentous event in the eerily silent Abbey. The darkness seemed to claw at his clothes, he felt naked and exposed. He continued to walk around, unaware that he was in fact being closely watched.

A sound from behind him had Kai on alert. He spun around, only to find no one and nothing there. He shivered again and turned back around.

A hand clamped down on his mouth before he could utter a sound.

"You little fool," Tala hissed menacingly, glaring coldly at Kai. Kai seemed startled. He hadn't seen Tala act like this yet. He seemed so ... deadly and fierce. The annoying smirking brat from before had completely disappeared. "You have no idea what you've just gotten yourself into have you?"

Kai glared back at him and ripped his hand away, startling Tala with his ferocity. "Well I wouldn't even be in this situation if someone had told me straight up what is going on around here."

"Look Kai, trust me, you don't want to know. Just do as the others do and you won't ever have to learn. Pay attention in your lessons and strive to be the best and they won't bother you."

"Who?"

There was a sound down the hallway that startled them both. Tala paled slightly and ran off. Kai stared after him in confusion and fear, realising that something bad was going to happen. Boris turned around the corner with two guards. Kai gulped slightly seeing him and he expression on his face. Boris smiled seeing the young boy.

"I was just about to go and get you, but it seems you've saved me a long walk." Kai started to shake and turned to walk away, but Boris snapped his fingers and the guards grabbed the boy before he could escape.

Kai kicked out at them and bit their fingers, but he couldn't shake them from him. A hard slap from Boris that left him dazed finally made him stop struggling. 

"You're a feisty one aren't you?" Boris smirked. "Perfect. Your grandfather has big plans for you and I see now that his vision for you coincides with my own." He lifted Kai's face so that he could look directly into the frightened garnet eyes. "But first I need to bend your will to mine, a rather enjoyable task, more so every time you continue to struggle. I relish the chasing, so no matter what you believe, know that I will always be there right behind you, waiting for you to fall and accept."

Kai stared at him in horror, his words sending a chill through him.

__

~Night be in need of talking

Night be staring directly at me~

He was dragged away, unprotesting, to a small cold room, like many others in the Abbey. The walls were damp, the air chill, and the floor hard. The guards laughed as they threw him in there. Kai cried out once then just whimpered in pain.

"I certainly expected better of you Kai," Boris sneered from the doorway, stepping slowly into the room. "Your grandfather sang your praises, but perhaps it is as Tala says and you are weak."

Kai growled, glaring at him. Boris smirked then strode over to the quaking boy and backhanded him again, sending him into the wall.

"You have a raging spirit in you. I look forward to breaking it."

Kai had no time to react before Boris was on him, dealing out his torture on the boy. Kai's eyes widened and he cried out once again, then clamped his lips together, keeping everything inside.

_I will not be weak,_ he chanted to himself even as he braced himself to the pain that Boris was inflicting on him. _I will not be broken._ No sounds, no tears escaped him throughout the long arduous torture session, even onto the early hours of the morning, Kai did not say a word, did not shed one salty drop.

Finally, after ages it seemed, Boris moved away, leaving Kai bruised and battered on the floor. Kai could feel the bastard's smile.

"You are indeed spirited and strong willed, but there is no doubt that I will break you Kai. No one has ever thwarted me before."

Kai could not muster the strength to reply. It was taking all of his energy to stay conscious still. He winced as he felt the guards pull him up to his feet and drag him from the room, Boris following close behind. He blacked out for a few minutes as they dragged him up stairs and to his room, coming awake with a hiss as they threw him on the floor of the room he shared with the other four boys.

"Perhaps next time I'll try a few more things on you to see if you submit." Boris smirked and turned away.

Kai rose up onto his hands and knees and coughed, sending a spray of blood onto the floor. "Hey, Boris," he whispered in a hoarse voice. Boris turned, staring at Kai in amazement as, shaking, he got up onto his feet, swaying slightly. Blazing blood-red eyes shone like fire form the darkness. "Have you ever seen a caged Phoenix?"

Boris glared at Kai's question. "I will soon have one."

"No you won't, not ever, you're not strong enough to trap one and you'll never be strong enough to break it, no matter what you do or how hard you try."

"We'll just see. Your father said something similar to me once and I didn't believe him then and I don't believe you now." Boris sneered again. "No matter what you do Kai, you will be mine."

Kai continued to glare at him with his fiery gaze until the door was shut and locked behind the administrator. He resisted the urge to fall to the floor and fall into blissful unconsciousness and instead made his slow and steady journey over to his bed.

He paused just before getting in and looked around the room at the amazed and staring children in the other beds. He sneered and spat on the floor. "Weaklings," he muttered and climbed on top of the bed, not caring about his torn and bloody clothes exposing too much to the freezing air and lay staring out the window at the soft silver moonlight.

__

I will not break.

~Inside plays a lullaby

Slurred voice over children cries

On the inside~

It all became a blur, the past the present, events, people, there was only one thing going through his mind, the desire to become stronger, to stay impervious to everything.

Perfection.

Training everyday became a stabilizer, a link to sanity, something he could cling to through the hazy days of pain and humiliation. Nothing else mattered to him, no people in the Abbey came near him any more. Tala tried at first, his initial curiosity with the boy having not worn off yet, but he was eventually driven away with the others by the icy demeanour. It had only been a year.

A year since Kai had came here and he had changed so much.

He was perfection incarnate, lusting for power, a human weapon, deadly, steady, emotionless, he thought of nothing but his own strength. He saw the others' looks of hatred and envy. Tala stared at him sadly as he passed then flinched and looked away. Bryan looked over him impassively, a silent approval in his air. Spencer glared as he passed yet would not meet his eyes when Kai stared back at him. Ian scuttled away from him, fearful of Kai's very presence.

Yet he wasn't as perfect as everyone imagined. He knew he was unstable, he was on the verge of breaking and he clung to anything he could hold onto.

He once referred to himself as the Phoenix, a nickname his father had given him. If he was anything, he was the eternally burning fire, continually shifting, swaying in the air, looking powerful, but so fragile. Yet he covered his fragility well. Boris thought he'd won, yet Kai knew the truth, he still had his will, he just had no way of escaping yet. For there was no doubt in his mind that Boris could not keep a Phoenix caged for long.

It was one day he was looking out the window, staring down at the white fields below him that Kai saw in the distance a group of children playing. A sudden longing filled him. He recalled a time at home when he was staying for those few short weeks with his grandfather. He looked out from a building and saw a group of children playing in the streets. He'd wished he could be with them. If only he had the courage to risk his grandfather's wrath and go outside.

It was the same. 

Did he yet have the courage to escape and free himself?

__

~Haunting loneliness in the eye~ 

Nearing the end of the year, Voltaire came to the Abbey. Kai was summoned to see them both. He stood before Boris' huge dark wood desk, his grandfather sitting nearby.

"As you can see we've made quite a large improvement," Boris was saying, passing a file to Voltaire. Voltaire flicked through it, a smile coming to his face. Kai stood impassively, waiting for an order to be followed.

"Good," Voltaire finally commented, putting the file down. He looked over at Kai. "So he has become your best student in just a year."

"By far. Within the first week he'd surpassed all of our newest recruits. After the first month he'd passed some of our weaker trainees. After just four months he'd beaten Tala and Bryan even and they are the best students we have, for all their young age. He's been steadily improving since then and from what I can see, no one will be able to come near him. He is a prodigy and he has a strong will to succeed and a lust for power."

Voltaire smirked. "Is that so? Just perfect. How long did it take you to break him?"

Kai felt a huge flood of anger fill him with this statement. This was his grandfather?! What kind of sick bastard sent their family to a place like this, knowing about it, and specifically asked how long it took for them to virtually reduce him to a mindless, helpless slave?

Boris frowned slightly. "I'm not quite sure. He seemed to change drastically after the first incident, yet his will was a strong as ever, however, his improvement began immediately. He started to hold the others in contempt, believe himself above the others here. He trained non-stop. He's an unusual case. I think it might be best if I studied him for a it longer."

Voltaire shrugged. "Whatever you deem necessary. Just remember, I want this operation to begin as soon as possible and Kai is central to my plans." Voltaire smirked. "Show me."

Kai was led away to a training room. He stared at the two adults before him with a hatred so fierce, it could be seen in his flaming crimson eyes. People who had gathered to see the procession shied away seeing that look on his face. Kai had never looked so deadly as he did then. In the training room, Tala, Bryan, Ian and Spencer faced Kai in the dish, all at once.

Kai smirked and the four of them backed away slightly seeing the fires in his eyes, even Bryan seemed unnerved. Boris frowned and ordered them forward again. They did so reluctantly. Kai and the others set up their blades and launched them.

Within seconds, pieces of the four blades lay scattered over the floor while Kai's blade still spun fast enough in the dish to cause sparks. Voltaire smirked at the display. "Perfect. I want to show him the project."

Boris paled and Kai turned towards them, suddenly interested. The elusive secretive project, and the means to his escape were finally at hand.

_Black Dranzer._

~Skin covering secret scars~

Kai stirred slightly from the pain of his memories.

He knew he was back here at the Abbey. What was strange was the body up against his. Half-asleep he took no notice and just curled up closer instinctively to the warmth. The other person stirred themselves and rose up to look over at Kai.

Kai felt the other person place soft kisses down his throat. He smiled slightly and moved so that the other person was now laying atop him. Skin pressed against skin, heat and lust shared between the two. Kai reached up and pulled the other boy down for a kiss, waking more with each moment that passed.

He reached up eagerly to run his hands through the long midnight hair, cupping the boy closer. Kai frowned slightly finding short hair. Still eagerly kissing the boy above, Kai ran his hands down his sides and back and met scarred skin.

He pulled back slightly with a gasp and opened his eyes slightly.

"You don't have to look so disappointed," Tala murmured quietly, pressing his lips against Kai's throat again.

Kai closed his eyes in pain and Tala laughed at the sight. "Of course, if I was thinking about someone like Tyson, I'd be disappointed to find anyone else in my bed too." Tala leaned in close to smirk at Kai. "The boy is a dish. I would love to make him squeal underneath me. I'll bet he'd make the most delightful noises as he squirmed. Though you'd know more about that than me, wouldn't you Kai?"

Kai growled and Tala laughed again, rolling off him and getting up.

"Get out."

Tala smirked again and bent over to pick up his clothes. "What? No goodbye kiss?" He laughed as Kai just glared. He moved over quickly once he'd put on his pants and leaned down, much to Kai's protest and pressed down hard on one of Kai's injuries.

Kai cried out in pain, not being able to stop Tala from leaning down and kissing him roughly, biting down on his lip hard enough to leave a mark. "Thanks for the fuck," he whispered then sauntered out of the room.

Kai lay on the bed long after Tala had left contemplating everything that had happened. Obviously he'd slept with Tala and he knew that he had enjoyed the break from routine. A momentary escape only from the pain and suffering. The only problem with temporary solutions is the let down after. The world was even gloomier to him now than it was before the situation with Tala.

And his disappointment ... he'd wanted so much for things to be different for him this time, just once. He wished he could finally escape everything, finding some way to ease the pain, finding the _perfect_ way to escape, and getting what he wanted at the same time.

He got up and walked painfully over to the bathroom. Kai quickly looked himself over in the mirror and winced just at the sight of his injuries. His chest was a mottled purple colour almost all over and his back was lashed and bleeding, crusted blood all over his sides. His arms had thin cuts all up them and chaffing around the wrists from ropes he was tied up with. He had been intending to get in the shower and wash himself off, but Kai found himself clinging to the basin, staring at his reflection in the mirror.

He hated himself. Loathing welled up inside him and he quickly rushed to the toilet and threw up, sitting on the floor miserably. Kai put a hand to his head and groaned.

"Tyson," he whispered brokenly. He looked down suddenly, feeling a splash of water on his leg. He touched his cheek tentatively and felt the tears. Kai leapt up and backed away to the wall, not caring how dizzy he felt because of it. He'd never cried, not even at his parent's funeral. Why now? What was it that caused him so much pain?

Perhaps it was just a culmination of everything.

He was starting to crack and soon he would fall and shatter completely.

__

~His hand is waving a goodbye

There's no response of action returned~

He was young again, another memory. Standing with his grandfather by the park, seeing the canal nearby Kai wandered over, considering his grandfather was busy with yet another of his 'business associates'. What sort of businessman did legal proceedings in the park?

Looking around, feeling the warmth in the air, Kai managed a hint of a smile for the spring day. He hadn't seen anything but snow and ice for a year, it was nice to see green grass and bright flowers again.

Suddenly, an object went flying past him and landed at his feet. Kai bent down and picked up the small white Beyblade, looking around for the owner.

A boy, perhaps two years younger than him ran over a huge apologetic grin on his face. His long hair was falling out of a loose ponytail and a baseball cap had flown off from his head as he ran. Kai looked him over with some disbelief.

"I'm so sorry, did I hit you?" The boy looked at Kai in worry, his blue-grey eyes wide and sincere.

Kai shook his head and handed the boy his Beyblade back. The boy grinned. "Thanks. I'm still learning a bit about Beyblading. I haven't quite got my launch perfected yet."

"Practice makes perfect," Kai murmured quietly, much to his surprise. Why was he engaging the boy in conversation? A child like him was beneath his notice, yet Kai couldn't help but feel slightly drawn to the innocent way he looked and the cheerful smile he had.

Kai hadn't smiled properly for a long time. It was amazing to see someone who could be so free about everything.

_I wonder if I was ever that free, or have I always been trapped?_

"I guess," the boy said, drawing Kai's attention back from his musings. "My name's Tyson."

Kai stared at the proffered hand with a raised eyebrow and turned away. "I don't have time for pleasantries," he said, walking away to his grandfather who had finished his meeting. Kai could feel the boy staring after him in confusion and hurt. Once he reached his grandfather he started walking out of the park with him.

However, he did look back once to see the boy still looking over at him. He waved cheerfully, much to Kai's surprise then ran off to join his friends. Kai watched him leave then hurried to catch up to his grandfather, striding far ahead of him.

Later that day, he recalled the other boy's naïve smile and Kai found himself pondering what it would be lie to be free again.

__

~There is deep prejudice in me

Outshines all reason inside~

Kai groaned and opened his eyes only to wince and shut them again soon after. He was lying naked upon the bathroom floor, having passed out after throwing up multiple times into the toilet.

He got himself up and moved over to the shower, quickly turning it onto a very heavy spray, hot enough to scald, yet Kai took no notice as he stepped under the water. Fire and heat were his element, he took no notice, in fact he relished in the burning tingling sensation. It made him feel alive.

It simply made him feel.

He spent a long time in there, just enjoying the sensations crawling across his skin, trying to ease the heat inside of him with external fire. Stepping out finally, his skin red and soft, Kai did not bother with drying himself and simply strode out into the main room, feeling the air chill as he stepped across the threshold.

He'd left the window slightly open. Walking to it, Kai opened it further and saw the snow in the air struggling to get inside, the wind pushing the little icicles towards the warmth inside the room and around him. Upon touching his skin, the snowflakes melted instantly.

_They called me the lord of ice. Hmm, such opposing extremes. Ice and Fire. Which am I? Which do I want to be?_ Kai studied the small droplet of water that had formed on his fingertip from a melted snowflake. _Ice melts eventually, overpowered by the fire. Isn't that why I ran here in the first place? I was melting._

Kai looked out the window and over to the meadows. There were no children there, yet he could tell there would be eventually. It had the look of a place that had seen many booted feet travel over it, running, jumping. The echoes of laughter rang in his ears. He could almost put names and faces to what he could imagine. 

Like the wind, exuberance and cheerfulness had eroded away at him, pushing him to the fire again, to his promises of old. He'd called himself the Phoenix, yet what was he now? A scared child hiding from everything, even the one thing that could truly set him free?

Kai had been right, Boris could not break him. He broke himself. He trapped himself within his own determination. Tyson could have been his salvation from this cage of stone and ice. Yet he shied from the wind and fire, running to a dark place where no one could find him, slowly building his shell back up so no one could almost penetrate it again, as Tyson had almost done.

Still staring at the drop running down his arm, Kai suddenly frowned.

_I wonder if it would be all that bad, to melt and let go of everything. Would I finally be free? Would I finally be happy? _Looking out across the white covered landscape before him Kai pondered this question, losing himself again to his memories.

__

~Given dreams all ridden with pain~

It was so hot, once again he was utterly consumed in the flames. Yet this time, he was not powerless to stop what happened.

He was in control, this was his fire, his pain, his rage, his passion.

The screams he heard, the bodies he saw fall before him in the hazy orange landscape, they were all his doing this time, unlike the last time, when he's been unable to do more than watch as his life was destroyed with a stupid accident.

This time was no accident.

This time this was his passion, his pain and he would let the fires keep raging until he was satiated.

"Kai!"

The young boy turned and smirked, an utterly evil lifeless expression. The two men took a step back at the sight of the completely unharmed boy in the midst of the raging inferno.

"What have you done?" Voltaire demanded.

"Destroyed everything," Kai replied with a shrill giggle. "Like you did before. Only this time, I think you may put the effort into resurrecting this place. I suppose this always did matter more to you than your children." Kai heard a shrill scream and smiled. "Mother screamed like that. You remember, don't you grandfather?"

The two adults were staring at Kai with wide fearful eyes, more so when they noticed what he held in his hand.

"You launched Black Dranzer," Boris breathed, a slight note of hysteria in his voice. "You couldn't control it."

"Wrong. He wanted out, so I let him, in exchange for the destruction of everything you hold dear." Kai grinned. "I told you that you couldn't cage a Phoenix, not even one you created yourself. Now the cage is gone and the little bird is free to fly, his wings still whole, not broken by the master." Kai glared at the two of them. "You underestimated me, this is your payment for your foolishness and my revenge."

Kai walked towards them, calling Black Dranzer back to him. The black blade flew over to him, the dark phoenix's lust for destruction satiated for the time being. Voltaire and Boris couldn't help the small looks of nervousness they sent his way. Kai was completely unpredictable, but completely stable. He knew exactly what he was doing and why. Kai smirked at them as he passed, tossing the blade and launcher at them.

"I'd advise you go check on Tala and Bryan. I think they're still unconscious. You wouldn't want to risk them dying seeing as they're now your top students." Kai shook his head as they both let him walk past without protest.

_Weaklings._

Wandering slowly over to the field he'd seen so many times from his window, Kai looked around with some heaviness in his heart.

It wasn't going away, the emptiness. He knew he had emotions, he just couldn't feel them as he had before. He'd snapped finally, and there was no turning back for him now, he had to live with his change.

Flopping down on his back in the snow, Kai stared up at the dark sky, filled with snow-clouds. There would be a blizzard soon, there would be no need for Boris to call a fire squad to take care of the flaming Abbey. Kai watched as the first snowflake drifted slowly down from the heavens to sit upon his raised fingertip. He studied it curiously, like a toddler who had just seen snow for the first time.

_I wonder how to make the ice melt._ No matter how he frowned and looked at it from every angle, Kai could not see the ice crystal melting at all.

After some time, he gave up and lay back again, staring up at the clouds again, seeing more snowflakes falling from the sky. The soft sprinkling of ice was washing away the smell of the smoked ruins over a ways, yet Kai could still smell the fire. He smiled.

You can never cage a Phoenix. He frowned suddenly, looking back around at the snow that had covered him softly, building up over his sides and feet. Unless you encase it in ice.

Kai leapt up, frantically brushing the horrid cold stuff off him, his eyes wide and frightened. He would not be trapped, he would allow no one to trap him. But he already knew the latch had been locked behind him.

By himself.

The only question left was if there was anyone willing to save him.

__

~And projected onto the lost~

AN: ^_^;; I think I went a bit overboard with the metaphors in those last passages. Oh well. It's a bit shorter than the other chapters (only by about 500 words or so), but it's still just as good in my opinion.

Don't hurt me about the Tala thing, I had to put it in there. Seriously, where's the fun in a story without complications?

Next chapter is focused on Tyson, to make up for the Kai-centric chapter and even more things get moving.

Well, until then,

Laters.


	4. Hope Leaves

**Disclaimer: I do not own the series Beyblade or any of its characters featured in this fan fiction. Nor do I own the song "Hope Leaves", it belongs to the band Opeth.__**

_Well, I'm back again with the next installment. I tried to bring this out for you as soon as possible, but my exams got in the way, not to mention my computer crashed on me!_

_Well, anyway, this is one of my favourite chapters (though all of them are sort of my faves). I actually had this one planned out when I was writing the second one … I like to think ahead._

_I also get the feeling that some of you will not be particularly pleased, especially at the beginning of this chapter, but remember, this is a Tyson/Kai fic. Trust me on that one, okay? It is TYKA!_

_Oh, and I forgot to mention, each chapter name is the name of the song I use in the chapter, sort of like a central theme. Hope that helped a bit if there was any confusion._

_Well, enjoy._

**Hope Leaves**

_~In the corner, beside my window_

_There hangs a lonely photograph~_

The feeling was so delightful to him, exhilarating. Every movement was a momentous event, the friction causing the most delicious sensations all over his skin. The heat radiated from them both in thick intense waves.

            Tyson pulled back slightly, gasping desperately for air, then plunged back into the feelings, losing himself again in the other boy.

            These feelings … they were so real, he could almost truly feel them again, reaching out to wrap him up in thick delectable tendrils, love, lust and desire feeling them, making them stronger, strong enough to almost hold him. Tyson reached out to them, hoping that this time he could finally touch them, know them, accept them.

            But he couldn't reach. He frowned against the soft hungry lips pressed against his. He pulled his tongue away from the gentle stroking of the other boy's. He tried to be rough, to rush things again, but he was always brought back to the languorous licking and sucking, the gentle, loving sensations.

            He didn't want that though, he wanted the fast fiery passion of the other one.

            He wanted Kai.

            Tyson pulled his hands from the long silky strands of raven hair and pulled back from the boy beside him, lowering his own body heat and desire as he did so. The friction between them was gone, no longer causing more sparks of gentle warmth.

            The cold completely hit Tyson as he pulled away from Rei's lips and looked down at the lonely and somewhat sad boy before him. Those deep golden eyes looked at him accusingly before closing and turning away.

            "You're thinking about Kai again," Rei commented.

            "Yeah."

            Rei got up off the bed, still not looking at him. "You know I'm always here for you Tyson," he told the boy as he walked to the door. He stopped after opening it and finally looked directly at him, his eyes hard. "But I will not be a substitute."

            "Why do you think I stopped?" Tyson replied harshly. Rei shook his head and left the room, the door slamming as he did so.

_~There is no reason~_

_Tyson._

_            God, I love you so much, why can't you see that? Why can't you finally accept that? Why can't you just live your life and let the past stay in the past where it belongs?_

_            I'm not sure how much more of this I can take, it's tearing me apart._

_            Last week … I knew it was too good to be true, but that first kiss … he was just so tortured and sad, I didn't know what else to do. I could feel his surprise, then I was lost as he kissed back. In that instant I knew that I had fallen hard and I couldn't get myself back up._

_            Love's funny that way. I don't even know why I love him so much. Physical attraction has some part, but I was caught by more than that. I saw his pain and it affected me. Tyson was never one to let things get him down, but when he was cut so deeply by Kai, I just couldn't help myself, I wanted to be near him, I wanted to ease his pain. _

_            I wanted to love him and I wanted him to recognise that and love me back._

_            The way he loved Kai._

_            Correction. Loves. I know I'm bitter, but don't I deserve to be? He did nothing but hurt Tyson, he almost destroyed us all because of that. Tyson was the heart of our team and by destroying him, he almost killed us all._

_            Yet Tyson still loves him, still believes there is hope._

_            I have to face the facts. He will never love me and he will never want me as much as he wants Kai. I can never be with a person unless I know I am theirs, heart and soul._

_            I can't be with Tyson._

_~I'd never notice a memory that could hold me back~_

_I sighed, lying sprawled on my bed._

_            It was wrong, I knew that. Using Rei like this. But hey, he offered first and he is the perfect way to get my mind off everything. Sometimes I even wish I could let go of everything and just lose myself in his warm loving embrace, but I'm not quite sure how, or even if I really want to. It's probably just my insecure side of me talking, wanting to hold onto anything within reach._

_            I'll bet Kai was never like that. He was always so strong, he never needed to hold onto anything._

_            But sometimes I wonder if that's true. Why did he always come back to us? He could have left us at any time, he could have gotten everything he wanted by himself, but he stuck with us. Why? Perhaps that is why I continue to think that he can still be with me, that there is some part to him that we have touched ... that I have touched._

_            I know the others think I'm hopeless and slightly deluded, but I could feel it, Kai does care for me, I know it. I have to keep believing it, because else he will be completely lost to us all. I won't let that happen._

_            I see that same picture beside me on the table. Our team, whole and happy right after the World Championships. There's Max grinning with his hands pumped exuberantly in the air. Kenny just beside him, blushing slightly but grinning at the display, his laptop with him as always. On the other side there's Rei, his huge smile on his face, one arm slung around me, the other around Max. I'm in front, smiling my dopey smile at the camera, but I don't care what I look like, I was happy. And there, to the side and behind a bit as always, was Kai. I love this picture, it's one of the few I have that has Kai smiling, actually smiling in it._

_            He looks so peaceful, as though for once everything that he worried about had disappeared. It was rare to see that with Kai, he was always concerned about something. He used to be concerned about us, despite how he would deny it, but I could tell._

_            It's funny, he and Rei used to be close, well as close as someone could be to Kai, yet now whenever someone mentions Kai's name, Rei gets this strange look on his face. I think I'm not the only one who hasn't let go of Kai and his memories. I suppose it takes a lot for Rei to get over betrayal, I know it hurt him when Kai left in __Russia__, it hurt all of us. But this is different, and so much worse._

_            I just wish that something would happen to sort things out. I don't know how to deal with this._

_~There is a wound that's always bleeding_

_There is a road I'm always walking~_

Max looked around curiously. Tyson was nowhere to be found. He and Kenny had come to the dojo at Rei's summons. He'd sounded so serious on the phone that Max had rushed over immediately. Kenny wasn't far behind, looking at him worriedly as they ran through the entrance and up to the main house where Rei was waiting for them.

            Now he looked cold. There was no other way to describe that expression. Max shivered seeing it on Rei's face. He reminded him so much of Kai with that distant look. He stared out the door, waiting for the last member of the team to arrive. Max looked over at Kenny and knew that the same thought was running through both their minds: _What had happened?_

            Finally they heard a sound coming form the hallway. Tyson approached, yawning slightly, still pulling on his jacket.

            "Jeez Rei, what's up? You'd better have a good explanation for waking me up this early."

            "Tyson," Kenny said with some exasperation. "It's almost noon."

            "Like I said," Tyson yawned. "Early." He stretched out and sat down heavily beside Max, the blond giggling at the sight of his half-awake friend staring around blearily.

            Rei's gaze softened slightly, then he looked away. Max frowned. He could see a large amount of pain hidden in the older boy's eyes. He looked between him and Tyson curiously, wondering what had happened. There was definitely something going on, Tyson seemed a bit strained as well, though it was harder to see with Tyson. He was able to cover things like that up so easily now. Just another change that they had seen in him of late.

            "So Rei," Kenny asked, "Why did you call us all here?"

            Max frowned as Tyson sat up straighter and looked around a bit, noticing the chilly atmosphere. He stared at Rei in concern as the neko-jin took a deep breath and looked around at them all.

            "I'm leaving guys."

            Kenny looked a bit upset at this and Max's face fell. It was finally time for Rei to go back home. They'd known it had to happen, but hearing the words coming from his mouth and faced with the reality of it, it was still hard to consider.

            "That's too bad," Max said with a small sad smile. "We'll miss you. When are you leaving?"

            "Tomorrow." The others looked shocked at the suddenness. "It was the only plane I could get. I'm heading off to France first to visit Oliver then maybe over to Italy to see Enrique with Oliver if he can't make it to visit then I'll be heading back to China. It's a long way to do it, but I promised Oliver I'd see him. I called him up last night to make sure everything was arranged."

            Max and Kenny nodded at this, wishing him well, but the golden eyes were fixed on the stunned silent figure across from him. Tyson had not said a word, because he knew that there was something else behind the reason for his teammate's departure.

            Throughout the rest of the team's tearful goodbye to Rei, Tyson never said a word to him, his eyes never leaving Rei's face.

_~And I know, you'll never return to this place~_

It was a cold night, the wind howled hauntingly and Tyson sat in the training room of his dojo before his family's sword, meditating quietly, ignoring everything around him. Yet he knew when Rei entered and sat down beside him.

            "You broke your promise," Tyson whispered harshly after Rei had sat there uncomfortably for a while.

            Rei hung his head. "I know."

            Tyson whipped his head around to face him. "Why?"

            "I can't do this any more Tyson," Rei told him desperately. "I don't think you realise how much I love you. I can't stand staying here knowing that you love someone else … knowing that you love Kai." Rei spat out their former captain's name with disgust.

            Tyson's eyes narrowed dangerously. "I never asked you to love me," he hissed quietly.

            "That's what friends do, maybe not always as deeply as I care for you, but they do care for each other." Rei glared at him. "Do you really think that Kai can ever love you? Kai loves no one, he cares about nothing, he's proven that to us over and over again."

            "You're wrong," Tyson hissed, shaking slightly.

            Rei just continued to gaze at him calmly. "You know I'm right. You more than anyone should know how deeply he can hurt a person and how he doesn't give a shit about it. If he did, he'd still be here. Tyson," Rei sighed seeing the dark look on his friend's face, "I only wanted to help you, but I was wrong in saying that I wouldn't get hurt."

            "I never wanted to hurt you Rei," Tyson told him truthfully.

            "I know, and I'm sorry I couldn't help you move on. But I don't think that's all my fault. You could have moved on anytime, if you really wanted to." Rei laughed sardonically. "I guess I'm not much compared to Kai, it's no wonder you couldn't love me."

            Tyson stared at Rei guiltily. The older boy looked close to tears. "Rei," he whispered and looked away, pained. "I wish none of this had happened. I know I could have been happy with you if it hadn't."

            Rei nodded and smiled softly at him. "Thanks anyway Tyson, but it did happen and I don't have a place in your life. At least, not the place that I want. But that doesn't mean I'll stop being a friend." Rei got up. "Maybe I'll see you around."

            "Thank you Rei," Tyson said as the other boy left, leaving him completely alone in his cold dark dojo.

_~Gone through days without talking_

_There is a comfort in silence~_

The days passed in quiet contemplation for Tyson.

            It was strange to be so alone at the dojo, he missed Rei's friendly presence. But then, every time he thought of the older boy he would feel guilty and turn to other things to draw his attention away. It became habitual for him to avoid things.

            At first Kenny and Max often came around to keep him company, but their visits soon grew sparse and few once they realised the futility of their efforts. The two friends watched sadly as they became powerless to do anything for Tyson as he slowly drew himself back into a cold shell, hiding everything away. It was only a short matter of time before Tyson barely even recognised their presence when they came over.

            When that finally happened, Max couldn't take it any more, he ran straight out of the dojo in tears and never came back to see Tyson again. He couldn't stand seeing his best friend be like that and it hurt even more to know that nothing he did could help Tyson in any way.

            Kenny was not deterred until the next time. When he came over alone, trying to find out what happened with Max, Tyson acted so coldly to him that he got up angrily and walked out on his friend, realising why Max had run out. He was amazed that anyone, much less someone like _Tyson_ could act like that. He worried about the change in him.

            While Max slowly sunk into a depression, Kenny tried to help him as much as he could while at the same time, tried to figure out a way to help Tyson as well. It hurt, the way that Tyson now acted towards them, but Kenny was determined to help him, just as any good friend would. Max, seeing his determination, rose back and started to help. Tyson meant too much to them to just leave alone.

            The dragon in question was completely unaware of any of this.

            He was too busy training himself to become stronger. Now that Rei had left, Tyson had to rely on himself to stay strong. He could not let himself fall again, he needed to prove to Kai that he was worthy of him. He had to prove to Kai that he was more than strong enough to be with him.

            He wanted to be good enough for Kai.

            That thought alone fuelled him on and not once did he ever stop to consider that he was slowly sinking into the same pit that he was trying to save Kai from.

            So who then would save him?

_~So used to losing all ambition~_

"Rei!"

            Rei managed a bright smile as he stepped off the plane to meet Oliver. The gaudy boy gave him a huge grin then enveloped him in a very tight embrace. Rei laughed at the exuberance, but also took comfort in the other boy's closeness. It was nice to have someone so happy to see you and who was able to show that gladness.

            "How are you Oliver?" Rei asked once they'd let go and were walking into the airport main areas.

            "Quite well, and yourself?"

            Rei sighed and managed a small smile. "I suppose things could be better, but we can't have everything."

            Oliver frowned at Rei's attitude. It didn't seem to fit his mood. "How are the others?" he asked cautiously. His eyes narrowed as Rei looked a bit strained when he answered.

            "All right I suppose."

            "Max?"

            "Doing great as always."

            "Kenny?"

            "His usual intelligent self."

            "Tyson?"

            Here Rei hesitated before answering, "He's been a bit off lately, but things were looking better when I left."

            Oliver nodded and frowned as he noticed Rei's sudden tensing as he realised what was coming next. "And Kai?"

            Rei's eyes glittered dangerously as he heard this question. "I haven't seen Kai for almost eight months."

            Oliver's eyes widened. _Guess I've found out the main reason for his attitude. "Oh, I see." Oliver decided to change the subject. "Well, I suppose none of that matters much, I'm just glad the others are well. Here, Enrique is waiting in the limo for you. He was so excited to see you again, as I was and couldn't wait for the plane to arrive."_

            Rei grinned at this, glad that Oliver decided to let things drop. He was here to relax after all and thinking about the others was not a way to relax right now. He looked over at the excited French boy and decided to have a good time, no matter what.

            Getting to the limo, Rei was again enveloped in a hug as Enrique jumped out and greeted him. Rei laughed at both of them and their enthusiasm. It was good to be around someone else for a change, especially exuberant, happy people like Enrique and Oliver. Rei was sure he was going to have fun with these two. He needed a bit of an escape from everything.

            Yet, as Rei looked outside the window of the sleek car, he felt a bit guilty and sad thinking about his friends. He'd left Max and Kenny behind to deal with Tyson alone. And Tyson ...

            Rei turned away sharply, berating himself for thinking about that. He could not afford to fall apart now. Sure it hurt, but he'd get over it, he just needed time. He'd messed up with Tyson and he could only hope that by leaving Tyson he was doing the best thing for both of them. Getting involved any further would just cause more harm.

            "Rei?"

            Oliver was looking over at him curiously, a slightly worried glint in his eyes. Rei shook his head and smiled reassuringly at him.

            "Yeah?"

            "Uh ..." Oliver looked a bit taken aback by the cheerful response. "What did you want to do first?"

            Rei shrugged. "You chose, I wouldn't know where to begin."

            "Sure."

            He'd be able to move on, he just needed a bit of time. Hopefully, by then, Tyson would have healed too.

            Hopefully.

_~And struggling to maintain what's left~_

_It's not working._

_            They see it, my struggle to stay in control, that's why I couldn't let them stay close. I didn't want them worrying. I didn't want them knowing just how fragile I am._

_            No one can know about that, I can't afford to look weak again._

_            I think I'm slipping again, it's probably not a good thing, but I can't help it, I'm not as strong as I pretend to be. I never was. Maybe everything I ever was is false. Am I really like this? These last few months have been a real eye-opener for me. I consider everything now, who I am, what I can do and I still wonder if this is all that I am, just a cheerful face?_

_            Well, one thing I do know is that I am no quitter. I will get through this, I will stay strong, I will prove to everyone that I can be strong. I will prove to Kai that I am worthy of him._

_            I'll prove to him that he can be saved from himself._

_            I don't think he knew that I saw it, his trap. He hides away pretending to be strong so he doesn't get hurt. Why does he do that? Didn't he trust us not to hurt him, even after all this time? Maybe he started to and freaked out, that was why he ran._

_            But I won't let him go, not now, I have to get him back and I'll do anything to do it._

_            I have nothing left to lose._

_~And once undone, there is only smoke_

_Burning in my eyes to blind~_

Max sighed and looked over at Kenny, who was falling asleep as he typed on his laptop.

            "Kenny," he whispered gently shaking the boy. Kenny started up from his doze and looked back at Max. Max smiled at him. "You should get some sleep, you've been up working this out for ages."

            "But I'm close to a breakthrough Max," Kenny protested. Max just looked at him sternly and Kenny sighed. "Fine, I'll go to bed."

            "I'm not sure we'll be able to make a break through this time Chief," Max said with a sigh. "We've looked at everything, tried everything, nothing's working. Tyson's gone."

            "I refuse to accept that," Kenny yelled, startling Max with his vehemence. "We can't give up, not on Tyson. You can't give up on him Max, we have to believe there is a way to get him back to what he was before."

            "Didn't we do that?" Max yelled back, looking close to tears, his anger taking over. "We thought we got him back before when we almost lost him, but that wasn't true. If he was back to normal, this wouldn't be happening again. Face it Kenny, for once we failed, we're not invincible, we just thought we were. World Champions or not we're still human and we're just as fragile as everyone else."

            Kenny looked away. Max was right, but he couldn't give into despair. "Maybe we just didn't see everything. Maybe Tyson hid from us that he still wasn't totally all right from the last time."

            "You think he's still affected by Kai's leaving?"

            Kenny nodded. "That's the only thing I can think of that would spark such a huge reaction in him. This is exactly like before, he's depressed, not talking, avoiding all of us, concentrating on anything that will make him forget. Only this time we're not there to pull him out, and neither is Rei. God, if we give up now we won't get him back Max. We can't stop trying."

            Max nodded. "Let's find out more on his mental health. Do you still have the number from that doctor?"

            Kenny nodded and got up to search through some of his stuff, looking for his phone book. Meanwhile Max sat looking out the window at the darkened sky outside thinking about everything.

            _It's hard Tyson, why do you do this to us? We're just trying to help and we will, whether you want it or not. But why do you need it in the first place, where did we go wrong? What happened to make you like this?_

_~To cover up what really happened~_

Tyson gripped his shooter tightly, staring intently at the ground before him and the blade spinning there.

            He'd messed up again with this shot, the velocity wasn't enough for the strength of the attack he wanted to use. He berated himself and called Dragoon back to him. The blade almost seemed reluctant. Tyson didn't notice, his attentions were focused on his thoughts and desires.

            _I have to become better, I have to prove to them I can do this on my own, that I am strong enough to deal with anything. I have to prove to Kai that I am worthy of being with him. I still have to save him from himself, I'm the only one who can do it, I'm the only one who has seen how much he does care. I have to save him._

            Tyson set Dragoon in the launcher again and pulled on the rip cord with as much force as he could muster. He smiled, seeing how much better this launch was compared to the one before. He would achieve the strength he wanted, without anyone else's help. Truthfully, he wasn't sure if they even could help. Rei had been the only one who knew anything about what happened between him and Kai, and Tyson had still kept some of the details from him. Sometimes he let himself wonder on what it would have been like if Rei had made a move before everything had happened with Kai.

            Tyson shook his head and glared, snatching his blade up off the ground. He didn't have time to waste on foolish thinking like that. He had to concentrate on his skills. He still wasn't even a good enough _blader_ to satisfy Kai. He had to keep working.

            And so he did, continually, pushing everything else aside, refusing to even acknowledge when his body had told him it had enough. Even Dragoon was resisting at times, but Tyson would not be deterred. He had to do this and nothing would make him change his mind.

            Unbeknownst to him though, he had been watched very closely and the watchers felt that it was time that a decision about him should be made. One that would change everything.

_~And force the darkness onto me~_

_AN: Well, I'm not really sure about that chapter, it's kind of shorter than I'd hoped and the ending … well that follows on into the next chapter._

_Still I hope you all enjoyed that chapter as well and again I'm so sorry for the major delay … almost a month! Wow._

_Well, until next time,_

_Laters._


	5. To Rid the Disease

**Disclaimer: I do not is any way own the series Beyblade or any of its characters featured in the fan fiction. I also do not own the song "To Rid the Disease", it belongs to Opeth.__**

_Yay! Over 100 reviews! Thank you all so much._

_Yes, I know, I'm taking ages to update my fics, but I'm really trying. This time, things were delayed because my motherboard fried. Stupid technology. Honestly not my fault, I swear!_

_Okay, now we get back on track with some more Kai angst and some very cool stuff happening here. Personally I love this chapter and I know I'm really going to enjoy this chapter. Hope you do too._

**To Rid the Disease**

_~There's nobody here, there's nobody near~_

"You feeling up for a little more fun?"

            Kai glared. "Fuck off Tala." The redhead smirked and moved back a bit, still smirking. Kai's eyes followed him to the door, not moving himself, still being rather weak from his many beatings over the months, not to mention from what just occurred. He did not forget anything that happened between them, for it had happened more than once.

            Tala stopped at the doorway and turned around, leaning lazily against the wooden frame. "Boris wants to see us. Seems we may have a new recruit."

            Kai snorted. "Like I care." He turned away.

            "You should, it's because of you he's to come here."

            Kai whirled around, but by that time Tala had already left the room. _What did he mean by that?_ Kai thought worriedly._ What did I have to do with a new recruit?_ Kai frowned and stretched, wincing sharply as he did so. He got up out of his bed and walked over to his trunk of clothes, pulling out fresh ones. He looked at the scattered remnants of his torn and soiled cloths from last night and winced.

            "At this rate I'll blow my entire bank account on a new wardrobe," he muttered darkly. What made him look away in shame was the fact that not all of his clothes were destroyed due to his beatings. Tala had been rather rough the previous night.

            Kai sighed and moved into the bathroom, showering swiftly and readying himself for the day as quickly as possible.

            As he stepped out into the hallway the emptiness seemed to echo around him, his footsteps sounded rather loud. His apprehension grew at this, he knew that today would not bring good news. But he would stay strong, he had to, he could show no weakness, not any more.

            So Kai did as he always did, he gathered his cold shell around himself and cut himself off, ready to deal with whatever the Abbey threw at him.

            At least he tried to prepare himself.

_~I try not to care, dead eyes always stare~_

_I feel their eyes upon me as I enter the room. I sneered. In truth while they thought I was not worthy to be in here with them, they were not worthy to be in my presence. I'd make them remember that soon._

_            Biovolt's best. What a laugh, I could beat them all at the same time and they know it. Even Tala and the others are no match for me now. It's quite amazing what a few months of such intense training will do with me. Perhaps that's why they're starting to slacken off a bit in my discipline, their experiment is working again, now as dangerous as ever._

_            Pathetic._

_            I ignore them all and sit down, waiting for the reason for the meeting. Everyone else soon followed suit and then Boris stood before us. I pretty much ignored everything he said, I think he mentioned stronger training disciplines and something else then he finally started about the new recruit._

_            This caught my interest again but only vaguely. Then something he said really caught my attention._

_            "I do believe we owe this fortuitous find to Kai."_

_            Eyes turned to me and I hid the confusion from them._

_            Me? What did I do? Suddenly I started to think about everything and barely managed to hide my worry. I couldn't show weakness now, not in front of everyone like this. I could see Tala's smirk and __Bryan__'s cold gaze, Ian's curiosity and Spencer's confusion. I ignored them all, trapped in my own hidden whirl of emotions._

_            It couldn't be. I looked up as I heard Boris saying something else and a picture was suddenly projected onto the screen behind him and it was all I could do not to jump up in horror at my own actions._

_            I know they see it now, my concern. Boris is smirking at me while Tala grins openly at my distress, they all do, they stare at me with their cold eyes, not understanding anything I'm going through. How could they? They don't even know what friendship is, concern for another, altruism. The Abbey drains away all these humane things, but I struggled so long to just hold on, to defy them by being more human than they wanted._

_            Now it was coming back to haunt me, my struggle, my "humanity". Seeing how this causes so much distress, I know they will not hesitate in bringing Tyson in to "train". And as I watch the videos they shot of him, I wonder if he would really protest coming here any more._

_            Did I really do this to him? Did I make him so much like me?_

_~Let these matters be, don't trust what you see~_

The room was rather nicely furnished, with dark wood furniture: desk, bookshelf, navy cushioned chairs. But it reeked of cold and misery. Hidden behind the elegant, aesthetically appealing exterior were secrets of pain and despair. Within that finely crafted desk was physical evidence of such things. Files upon files of former patients.

            His was among them.

            Tyson looked back out the door at Kenny and Max who were smiling encouragingly at him. Tyson turned back and rolled his eyes, closing the door firmly behind him. Why is it that whenever his friends said, 'We're only thinking of you' it usually ended him up in a psychiatrist's office?

            "It's good to see you again Tyson."

            Tyson raised an eyebrow as the lady in the room with him. "I would have thought the opposite true. If you never saw me again it would mean that your therapies worked." Tyson smirked and sat down in one of the chairs facing the desk. He ignored the look upon her face and stared, as he did every time he was in here, at the shining gold-plated name plaque.

            Dr. K. Goodlen.

            She seemed to recover fast, having gotten used to the way Tyson talked to her. "Perhaps then it's nice to see you personally Tyson, not necessarily back here. I rather like you."

            "I know, everyone likes me, I am famous after all."

            Tyson hated coming here, so he was antagonistic as possible. He refused to directly answer any questions about himself or about anything really. It was completely pointless, he knew he didn't need help, not the sort of help he was offered anyway. There was only one thing, one person rather, who could help him now.

            Kai.

            "Your friends tell me you've become rather reclusive again and often angry and ill-tempered." She was looking at a file she retrieved from her desk. It was rather familiar looking to Tyson.

            "Could be." Tyson shrugged, staring at the books on the shelves. Useless, the lot of them.

            "Are you hurting yourself again?"

            "Everyone does things that hurt sometimes. The very act of living induces pain. Someone once told me that life is pain and living is enduring that pain."

            "Would this be Kai?"

            Tyson shrugged again. "I don't really remember." Tyson glared at her suddenly and clammed up again, not saying another word about anything, not just himself.

            They didn't understand, none of them did. He had to help Kai, he was the only one who could, the only one who believed he could be saved. And he would do anything to save him, no matter what the personal cost. He knew what he was doing was right, he couldn't let them 'help' him, not now that he was so close to being able to save him.

_~Take hold of your time, step into the line~_

Darkness surrounded him, cold, unyielding darkness, thick with taint and despair. The empty corridors echoed it everywhere, spreading it through everything. He felt it sink into his very skin and infest him, yet he ignored it all, determined in his path. Fires of revenge and fury burned bright in his eyes, he had nothing but destruction on his mind. He knew they saw him, but he didn't care, it was long past time for him to be worrying about them, they should instead be worried about him: for he was going to make them scream.

            He came to a junction and stopped, seeing the guards starting at his appearance and pointing guns at him. He smirked and his crimson eyes blazed again as he raised his deadly weapon and launched.

            Screams were all he heard then as the flames started to gut the infested building from the inside.

            And in the middle of it all, he laughed.

            Fires parted before him, his passion fueling the destruction once again. He wanted this, desired their extermination. No one touched what was his, no one. Boris, Tala, his grandfather, none of them had the right to touch his team, they were safe, he made sure of it. He could not let them take Tyson.

            It was as though the barrier holding Kai's emotions back had suddenly been overwhelmed by them. Seeing Tyson's face and knowing what Biovolt planned to do with him, Kai had to stop them. He didn't want anyone else becoming what he had, he didn't want anyone else, much less Tyson to be trapped as he had been. His fear and compliancy melted and his cage started to crack.

            The Phoenix was freeing himself.

            He saw them rush past in efforts to get away, and all that he saw managed to escape, but it made no real difference to Kai whether anyone lived or died. He just reveled in the sigh of the walls crumbling around him, at the feeling of the darkness being swallowed up, purified by the flame. At the freedom that was just within his grasp.

            Hours it lasted and soon the flames died away, leaving behind nothing but charred rubble fit for nothing. He leaned down and picked up the blade still spinning even after all of this. His strength and passion had given it power enough for this. He walked through the rubble, surveying his destruction and smiled.

            One less boil of evil on the surface of the world. For now anyway.

            "Kai!"

            His fiery eyes darted to the side to see a furious Boris approaching him. "Yes?" he replied in a calm voice, but he said no more as he was suddenly on the floor, due to Boris' hard punch.

            Kai wiped away the blood from his lip and stood back up with a smile. "You don't like my actions?" he asked in a teasing voice. "Dranzer seems to think it's all rather pretty." Kai looked down fondly at the blue blade in his hands and Boris froze. He didn't know that Kai had done this on his own, he'd thought Kai had somehow gotten hold of Black Dranzer again. Kai grinned at his surprise. "You'll find that no one is severely hurt, Dranzer seems to have morals that I don't. I still think it's a far sight better than it was though, charred bodies or no this time."

            Boris was shaking, though whether from fear or fury Kai knew not and cared not a whit. "Why?" he finally demanded.

            Kai looked out at the people still stumbling around in confusion and fear. They looked so hopeless, lost, as though this one stronghold was more than just a place to live for them. Take something that powerful and important away from a person and they seem to lose even more. He couldn't allow that to happen to Tyson nor himself again.

            "You will never come near any person under my protection," he said in an icy voice as sharp as a dagger. Boris shivered at this and just watched as Kai walked right past him, the snow that was beginning to fall from the sky melting before it even touched him.

            The Phoenix was finally free again.

_~There's innocence torn from it's maker_

_And stillborn the trust in you~_

_I never really saw it until now, what you did to me, but I think I see it now._

_            It wasn't that stupid psychiatrist who showed me, though she bored me to death with all of her theories about it. I still couldn't see, or to be more precise, I couldn't care enough to look. Max and Kenny tried to show me, and maybe I saw a flash of the jerk I was being, but the guilt passed quickly once I immersed myself in training._

_            It's amazing how blind I was._

_            But no, not even my best friends couldn't show me what I truly was. I doubt that Rei could have either, if he was here. Of course if he had been, things might not have gotten so bad. Though I can't truly blame him._

_            However, I could blame you, but I won't, even though I want to so badly now. But you know that I could never hate you. I start to wonder why it is that I can't hate you. Essentially, you are the cause for this, even if I did take that inevitable first step by myself._

_            You started this game, with your actions._

_            I had faith in you, I trusted in you, in your heart, in your ability to love. I found out that was a mistake._

_            I hate what you've done to me, what you've reduced me to._

_            I hate what I've done to myself._

_            I hate what I've done to others._

_            I hate that everything is so messed up._

_            But I don't hate you. I don't have trust in you, I don't have faith in you, but I still love you, for some reason even I can't fathom. Yet I know things will never be all right again because of you._

_            Something happened to me today. I met a kid as I was walking home from the shrink's office. He recognized me and was so excited. He couldn't have been more than seven. He asked for my autograph and told me all about how I was his hero and he wanted to grow up to be just like me._

_            I almost told him to beat it, then what he said sunk in. I told him he didn't want to be like me, because I didn't want anyone be like me, least of all myself. That was the first time I really actually thought about it._

_            I had no friends, not any more, I threw away a chance at happiness and real love with Rei, I refused to let myself heal, I was seeing a psychiatrist, I hadn't smiled in months, I was coming close to being anorexic again, I never took care of myself and here this kid still looked up to me._

_            Just like I still looked up to you Kai, even after everything._

_            I'm not who I was, and I don't know how to get back to who I was. Is this what it felt like for you? This emptiness, this helplessness? I think I finally understand you Kai, and I really don't want to._

_            I tried to save you and only damned myself. I wonder, is there any way out for either of us now?_

_~This failure has made the creator_

_So would you tell him what to do~_

He was in the field again, as he was the last time he had watched the ashes of the Abbey cool from falling snow. This time was different however.

            He reached up a hand to catch the falling flakes of white and saw them melt perhaps a hair's breadth above his skin. No snow fell upon him this time, it no longer covered him, trapped him, encased him in hard merciless ice.

            He really was free.

            Kai turned his head as he heard a faint scuffing noise nearby. Someone was approaching him. Tala stopped a few metres away, staring at Kai, waiting for him to acknowledge his presence. Kai glanced over once.

            "Get lost," Tala growled coldly, his fury evident in the slight wavering of his voice. Kai smirked at him.

            "You don't think my art is pretty?" he asked innocently.

            Tala glared and reached out furiously to grab him and hoist him up so they were nose to nose. "Get the fuck out of here Kai, before I kill you. You are no longer welcome among us."

            "Too strange even for all of you, am I?" Kai whispered, his eyes glittering with amusement. He tilted his head to the side and studied Tala with a slight pout. "What's wrong? I'm not worth the hassle any more? And here I thought you really liked me." Kai laughed, the sound intensifying as Tala shook with rage. Even after the redhead's fist connected with his face, he still chuckled.

            Tala continued to glare at him, his eyes narrow slits. "You had best start moving now Kai," he warned coldly.

            Kai ignored him, staring intently at Tala's face. The other boy started to get rather unnerved by the calm gaze. When Kai reached out a milky hand to trail gently down his cheek, Tala flinched back. Kai smirked at the action before striking as quick as a viper and grabbing Tala's arm, twisting it around so Tala was painfully helpless in his grasp. He smirked as he heard Tala's short ragged breaths of pain and felt him shaking.

            "Maybe I don't want to go just yet," he whispered in a silky, dangerous voice. His fingers trailed down Tala's throat, causing more shivers. "I do believe we have some unfinished business." The teasing hand trailed over Tala's thin night shirt and down to the waistband of his pants. Tala's breath hitched, both in fear and anticipation as Kai slowly traced circles over his skin.

            Tala shook his head, opening his mouth a few times before he was able to say, in a faint voice, "No, we have nothing more." Kai could see his eyes were wide and he avoided looking at Kai. The hand slowly crept lower.

            "Really? I could have sworn ..." Kai shrugged and released him, causing him to stumble. Tala breathed a sigh of relief once he was free. Kai watched him amusedly, knowing the effect he had on the boy. He stepped towards him again. "Oh yeah, I remember now." He grabbed Tala's hair, making him yelp, and pulled him up with a smirk. "Stay away from my team."

            Tala stared at him, seeing the intensity of his gaze and nodded. "You come near him," Kai warned, "and I'll do worse than kill you." Still holding Tala in a tight unwavering grip, Kai kissed him fiercely, delighting in the way Tala shrank back from him. His fear was intoxicating. He never noticed when blood began to flow from his harsh actions, his or Tala's, it didn't matter, but when he pulled back, he saw the terror in the other's eyes and smirked. He licked the crimson droplets from his lips and said, "I always keep my promises Tala, never forget that."

            Tala sunk to the cold ground as Kai released him and walked away. He took no notice of the pain he felt in his head, or in his mouth from the damage done by Kai's teeth. He sat in the snow shivering not from cold but from a deep true fear that he hadn't felt in a long time. He didn't dare move until a long time after Kai had vanished.

            He gingerly raised a trembling hand to his mouth and wiped at the liquid sliding down his chin.

            "Play with fire, be ready to get burned," he whispered, holding himself tightly as he sat, not caring that he was smearing blood on his shirt.

            It was a long time before he felt something warm wrap around him. He didn't need to look around to see that Bryan was sitting next to him, having just put a blanket over his shoulders.

            "Was the sex really worth it?" Bryan asked him harshly after a while.

            Tala didn't know whether to punch him until he bled or break down and cry, so he did nothing, his eyes hollow and his face even paler than usual. Bryan watched him with growing fear. Kai had really scared the shit out of him, and it took a lot for Tala to feel even the slightest twinge of apprehension, to say nothing of this immobilizing terror. Bryan swallowed nervously.

            The Phoenix had risen again, his fires burning bright and bloody with vengeance.

_~Leave your mark upon the head of someone~_

Moscow hadn't changed that much since his last visit over a year ago. Still as cold as ever, the same buildings and streets and the same bustling people found in cities all over the world.

            Though admittedly, Rei hadn't seen much of the airport last time he was here, so it was almost like stepping off the plane for a new adventure in a brand new place where he knew nothing of the culture or language. At least the last was true, he still couldn't speak Russian and though he knew some history, Russian culture wasn't one of his strong points. It had held too many dark memories for him to want to pay too much attention to it.

            Oliver wanted to lend him the use of his private jet to get to Moscow, but Rei told him no. The Frenchman had done so much for him already, letting him visit and being so hospitable to him. Especially considering the depressing emotional state he was in at the beginning of his visit. But he and Enrique had done their best to get him out of his moods and over the time he'd stayed at Oliver's mansion, he'd learned to have fun again and laugh. It was a sign of how bad things were before if he'd forgotten that.

            But taking the jet would be too much for Rei, he felt uncomfortable with things like that, so he booked a ticket with a commercial airline from France to China with a stop-over in Moscow for two nights.

            _It's a good thing it's only for two nights, I'm not sure if I could stand being here longer than that._ Rei looked around and shivered in remembrance. He followed the instructions and managed to get to the airport hotel without drama, taking his room.

            Once inside Rei didn't bother unpacking anything, just his toiletries bag which he stored in the bathroom then he sat down, looking at his watch. He frowned, wondering why it said noon when it was dark outside. Then he remembered he hadn't set his watch to local time yet. Rei grinned sheepishly and did that. He got up again and turned on the television in the room and wondered if they had cable, or something that used subtitles he could actually read.

            Unfortunately they didn't have anything like that, so Rei flicked through the channels, watching the pictures, fighting back a yawn. It still seemed a bit early for sleep to him. But suddenly sleep was the last thing on his mind as he caught a glimpse of what was probably a local news station.

            Rei stared at the images he saw on the screen and knew he was paling. Why shouldn't he? Seeing images of Balkov Abbey again brought back horrific memories from the World Championships and from that, harsh memories of more recent months with his team.

            Even so, seeing what had become of the imposing prison made him shiver. What could have caused a fire like that? He watched curiously as the camera zoomed in on Boris and some of the milling children and guards. Suddenly Rei gasped as the zooming stopped as they began to interview someone.

            In the background he could clearly see a redheaded figured sitting on the ground, holding himself tightly as if in serious pain. Beside him was a lavender haired boy Rei still had nightmares about. What was truly frightening, though, was the fact that Bryan appeared to be comforting Tala. Rei knew the fiery captain of the Demolition Boys would never break down so publicly, especially not about something like this, so what could have caused  such a severe reaction to the situation?

            Rei studied everyone he saw on the screen as the camera moved in on them. Ian and Spencer were with Boris as he gave out orders. They looked stunned, and perhaps even a little ... fearful? No, that couldn't have been right. But that's what it looked like to Rei. The camera didn't show Tala again, but Rei saw Bryan stalk by, talking frantically to Boris. Rei had never heard of the cold blader losing his cool like that, even in their match he was ruthless and seemingly in control until towards the end. Yet here he was looking rather upset about something. And Boris himself ... he was furious, though the look in his dark eyes made Rei shiver.

            Something had gone down, something that had them all on edge for some reason. But what could it have been? What or who could have destroyed the Abbey with an obviously very huge fire and have caused such reactions in its inhabitants?

            It wasn't until the station went back to the studio that Rei's eyes widened as he figured things out.

            "Kai?"

_~Who'll cry for his state, we know it's too late~_

Kenny looked around curiously. He was in Tyson's bathroom, checking things out to make sure nothing bad was happening. He and Max had come over a few times to check up on him, despite the frosty reception, but this time, Tyson greeted them with hesitant smiles. Something had happened, and Kenny was a bit more suspicious about it than Max.

            The cheerful boy was just so happy to see some semblance of the old Tyson back that he wasn't willing to question why he was as he was before. But Kenny feared the worst.

            Okay, so Tyson was the kind of guy who needed something pretty big to show him that he was being stubborn and unreasonable, but Kenny wanted to find out what exactly had prodded such a change in him. He actually seemed to be getting better. Perhaps it was a lie, perhaps not, it had gone on for too long for them to tell when Tyson was acting or not. Rei might have known, but he wasn't here with them to help out. Kenny thought that may have actually added to the problem. Rei seemed like the stabilizer in Tyson's life for a while there.

            Still, maybe he was just being overly neurotic and paranoid about everything. Tyson did seem to be acting more like himself this visit and he almost appeared regretful about something. Neither of them had been able to do more than talk about superficial things with him, but it was a start. Maybe he'd finally open back up to them again.

            Maybe.

            Kenny looked around once more and nodded in satisfaction. Not a trace of blood, which meant either of two things: that Tyson was no longer harming himself or that he was extremely good at hiding it. He hoped that it was the former.

            Kenny walked back into the room where Tyson and Max sat.

            Okay, so things weren't totally back to normal, but they appeared better. The silence was tinged with awkwardness, but Max was still smiling cheerfully and Tyson didn't appear to be in one of his sullen silences.

            "Hey Chief," Max smiled at him and Tyson raised his head.

            "Nothing suspicious I presume," Tyson said in a low voice as Kenny sat down. Kenny glanced at him, but Tyson wasn't even looking at him any more, instead watching Max with an interested gaze as the boy continued talking excitedly.

            Kenny watched him throughout the rest of their visit. He was still afraid that Tyson was just acting for their benefit, and that he was really still unstable. He wouldn't have been surprised if that was the case. Tyson had become quite good at hiding many things.

            But Kenny wouldn't really know what was going on with Tyson until it was too late. So he watched, trying as hard as he could to pick up hints, trying to stop, as best he could, his friend's slow slide into darkness. Hoping against all hope that it wasn't too late.

            But doubts always seemed to creep in.

_~I turn round to see what was meant to be~_

Rei glanced around half-heartedly as he walked through the streets of Moscow. As he noticed the day before, things really hadn't changed at all, considering he could still find his way around, and he was too preoccupied with his thoughts to care that much.

            _Why now?_ Rei hardly noticed anyone he passed on the streets. Two people turned as he walked by, almost knocking them down as he thought, but seeing his blank look, they decided to just leave him alone. _Why did he have to come back now?_

            Rei looked up and frowned, realising he'd walked further than he'd intended to. He was close to the parks he'd visited when first coming here to Russia. He glanced at his watch and shrugged, figuring he might as well go and walk around for a bit more before heading back to his hotel.

            The park was rather peaceful. He could hear the shouts in the near distance of the amateur bladers as they battled it out at the dishes. That was the same all around the world. But it brought back a few wistful feelings in Rei as he listened. The memories of his team and the happy times they had were brought to the forefront of his mind and quickly following them were the darker memories that dogged them. They coincided with his recent thoughts and his countenance once again turned dark.

            _I was just starting to be happy again, not thinking about anything like this, then all of a sudden that news report came on and everything came crashing back. I guess I really couldn't run from everything forever. But did I have to stop now?_

            Rei ran head-first into someone. He was about to apologise when his breath caught.

            Crimson eyes were wide, very startled, both from the crash and from who he crashed into. Rei stared up at his former team captain, his thoughts a whirlwind of shock that soon settled into anger.

            Kai hadn't been looking where he was going, his mind concerned only with his emotions, when he ran into someone. Seeing Rei before him, he was stunned. He opened his mouth to speak. "Rei," he breathed just before his former teammate pulled back his arm and punched him in the mouth.

            "You bastard," Rei spat as he watched Kai stumble back.

            Kai wiped his mouth and looked at the furious boy before him. _Guess I've still not been forgiven for everything._ "I suppose I deserved that," Kai commented. But as Rei pulled back for another hit, Kai glared and said, "But I doubt I'll be as off-guard as that again." He calmly caught Rei's hand in his own and pulled the boy closer, twisting him around, causing Rei to hiss in pain. "Don't do that again Rei."

            "Let me go and I'll think about it."

            Kai shrugged and released him. "It's nice to see you again," he commented, not sure whether he actually meant it or not.

            Rei massaged his wrist where Kai had held it tight, glaring slightly. "I could have gone on with the rest of my life quite happily without meeting up with you again."

            Kai shook his head in amusement seeing Rei's emotions flitting across his face. "You're still pissed that I got to him first."

            Rei's eyes widened then they narrowed sharply in a glare. "Don't you talk about him," he growled. Kai chuckled seeing his reaction, which made Rei's anger rise even further.

            "Why not? That situation is that cause of all this tension is it not?" Kai moved over and sat down on a cold bench, gesturing that Rei sit beside him. Rei didn't move at first and Kai shrugged, leaning back and looking rather relaxed. "I take it that you didn't exactly come here for me, considering how surprised you were to run into me here."

            "Not exactly," Rei muttered, eyeing Kai warily. There was something different about the older boy, something he couldn't quite place about him. It was Kai, but he seemed to be _more than he was before, brighter almost. Something had happened to him._

            Kai chuckled. "You were the last person I would expect to run away, but then, when I think about it, that's all you really have done, run away from things. You've become quite good at running from your problems and hiding things when you have to, haven't you Rei? Hasn't it been easier to pretend that nothing ever happened with us, that you never knew me, or the rest of the team? Wasn't it easier to run away from Tyson and your feelings than try to help him? To try and help yourself?"

            Rei stepped towards him angrily. "Don't you dare! You don't know what he went through, what we all went through or what you did to him. How dare you even suggest that I didn't try to help!"

            "If you'd tried as best you could have, you would be with him right now, sitting quite contently with him in your arms instead of here, in the cold, arguing with me, trying to get these bitter feelings off your chest." Kai leaned forward and stared at him intently, letting this sink in. "But you ran, because it got too hard for you, didn't you Rei?"

            "I ..." Rei shook his head. "No, he refused to let you go."

            Kai shrugged, leaning back again. "I admire his loyalty, however foolishly misplaced. Still, you should have done more."

            Rei glared at him. "I should have done more? How dare you say something like that Kai! You ran from us, you drove him to the very brink of insanity. Do you have any idea what you did to him?"

            "More than anyone else will ever know," Kai whispered. Rei stared at him, confused. Kai seemed lost in thought, a pained look on his features. That look made Rei stop and think about things for a moment. He finally took a seat beside Kai.

            "Kai?" The other boy looked over at him. "What do you know?"

            Kai shrugged. "Same as you I suppose. Tyson has become ..." He looked away, not wanting to think about it. The guilt still overwhelmed him at times.

            There was a long silence where the two just simply watched snow slowly drifting down to fall over the park. They could still hear the shouts of the young bladers nearby.

            "He loved you," Rei whispered eventually.

            "I know. It was rather foolish of him."

            "He wanted to save you." Rei laughed bitterly. "That thought consumed him. He told me about what you almost did. Do you know what he said? He told me he wished you'd just gone ahead and raped him, because at least then he could have moved on." Rei stared at Kai. "So why didn't you?"

            Kai didn't answer, he just stared at the ground before them as it was slowly covered in white. Rei studied him, a sinking feeling in his stomach. _He couldn't ..._

            "I saw the news report on the Abbey," Rei told him after a while, unnerved by the silence and Kai's lack of reply. The thought that Tyson might have been right about Kai stunned him too much to think about, so he thought about something else. "That was you."

            "Yes."

            "Why did you do it?"

            Kai thought about his answer for a long time. "You say Tyson tried to save me. I know that, but to have saved me, he had to know me, so that's what he did." Kai refused to meet Rei's accusing gaze. "He got trapped in becoming like me. He was caught in the same trap that caught me so long ago." Kai glanced over at Rei and Rei froze, seeing the intense emotions burning inside those crimson orbs. "No one touches what is mine," Kai told him in a harsh voice.

            It was then that Rei truly realised what it was about Kai that had changed. He was more ... well open wasn't the right word, but he was more _revealed_, Rei could see more of what he truly was than he could before. Right now he saw pain and guilt and anger. But there was also something so intense and personal that made Rei look away, tears coming to his eyes.

            Kai loved Tyson.

_~Faint movement release to rid the disease~_

_I shiver as I look around, but it's from more than the cold I feel outside. There's a chill inside too, a rather unpleasant one. I think it's called shame, maybe with a bit of guilt in there too. Add in a dash of hopelessness leave to cool after the simmering boil of anger and you've created me as I stand right now._

_            I haven't been seen this place for a while, and despite the drastic change in appearance, I still don't feel very comfortable being here. But I'm not here for me. I'm here for Kai._

_            He's wandering the ruins of the Abbey, just looking around, almost lost in his memories it seems. There's no one here, just me, but I still get the feeling that there's something here beyond what I can see. But then, perhaps it's just because I'm here with him, knowing what I do. It's as though there's two Kai's here: the one of my thoughts and memories, the one who split us all up, the one who destroyed Tyson and left him for nothing. The one I can't find it in my heart to ever forgive._

_            The other stands before me now, perhaps the "true" Kai, the one I never saw, the one none of us saw. Except Tyson._

_            This is the Kai who lay beneath the barriers, the one we caught glimpses of but never saw more than that, the determined, passionate teammate, the one who sometimes cared for us on the rarest of occasions. The one who hid from us, never coming too close lest we draw him out and leave him vulnerable. The one Tyson was determined to see, the one he tried so desperately to bring forth. The one who held back from hurting Tyson too much._

_            I think it really tore him up to know what happened to Tyson, though he never would have shown it, or admitted anything like that. Maybe he thought he was helping Tyson by leaving him. And perhaps he did for a little while. But even Tyson can only take so much._

_            I really don't know what to think now. I can't forgive him for what he did, but I'm starting to understand, which scares me more than anything. I thought I hated him, but I can't. I want to hate him, but it seems too cruel to do something like that._

_            I think I see what Tyson saw, the boy trapped beneath the stone exterior. This is who Tyson loves, this is who Tyson saved. This is who will save him in return._

_            And who am I to Tyson now?_

_            Nothing but a friend, as I always was. But this time, I won't leave him alone._

_AN: Hmm, so what did everyone think? I sort of feel sorry for Rei. I was going to make things slightly different with him, but I think this is better and more suited to his character than what I had planned before._

_So, next chapter ... *grin* wait and see. Lots of fun stuff. I have just two more chapters for this story. I'm sorry, but there will be no more and no sequel after that, remember this was originally a one-shot._

_Well, anyways, until next time._


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